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Florida Gov. DeSantis Hauls 2nd Grader Over to Fox News to Warn of Mask Dangers


Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis put a second-grade girl on camera at Fox News, to warn viewers about the horrific dangers of wearing a COVID mask.  After prompting from DeSantis, the little girl recited her rehearsed line proclaiming “I'm not wearing a mask because you touch it and you get germs on your hand and then you put it on your face and breath in all the germs.”

Now, wait a minute!  Kids are constantly touching their faces - whether they’re masked or not.  So, how the hell is forgoing wearing a mask supposed to stop them from transporting germs from their hands to their face?  Frankly, I’m surprised DeSantis doesn’t order teachers to tie these kids’ hands behind their backs - in order to nip this damn hand to face germ transmission - right in the bud. 


Of course, what Gov. DeSantis doesn’t tell you is that when you’re only seven years old, chances are you’re probably way more concerned about getting “cooties” than COVID.  Anyway, I wonder what’s next in terms of educating the general public over at Fox and Friends - bringing in a 15-year-old girl to advise parents about all the child safety features built into Matt Gaetz’s new teen dating app?


You know, the funny thing is - it appears Gov. DeSantis may have somehow gotten this all mixed up from the get-go.  You see, when he was considering how best to implement Florida’s new COVID mask policy, he was advised by aides to be sure and get “a 2nd opinion” - not to get the opinion of a 2nd grader.  


Ironically, my neighbor’s a huge Fox News fan, so I asked him if he followed Ron DeSantis’ 2nd-grade pal’s guidance on mask mandates, and he admitted he hadn’t — but only because he prefers to get his medical advice from a preschooler who lives just a few doors down the street. Sadly, the poor child was recently placed under arrest, for practicing medicine without a license.


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