Skip to main content

GOP Senator Claims Joe Biden is the Reason Kansas is No Longer a Border State


During an interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo, it appears Republican Sen. Roger Marshall (R-KS) believes that Kansas has recently geographically moved away from the Mexican border, claiming that Joe Biden’s policies have migrants "stacked up" and waiting to enter the United States, and "this is why Kansas is no longer a border state.”

Gee, so Kansas was once a border state? Who knew?  Frankly, I’ve always assumed that if you’re traveling by tornado, it was located right next to the Land of Oz, but what do I know?  Anyway, it appears geography is another subject Kansas Republicans must have outlawed and discarded right along with that dreaded Critical Race Theory.  


Now, to quote the late, great Sam Cooke, it kind of sounds like Sen. Marshall “don’t know much about history, don't know much biology, don't know much about a science book.”  Of course, giving Sen. Marshall the benefit of the doubt, this may have been a feeble attempt to make a Civil War reference.  Even so, while Joe Biden is obviously pretty damned old, it would still be a real stretch to try and pin Civil War border issues on him.


Sen. Marshall went on to claim that during the Trump Administration, ranchers only found 2 dead immigrants on their land per year, but since Biden took office, one rancher found a hundred dead immigrants on his ranch.  Now, I seriously doubt if that’s true, but if there really were a hundred dead immigrants found on this guy’s ranch this year, then it seems to me that this dude is much more than just a rancher - he’s also a serial killer!


That said, and in Sen. Marshall’s defense, Kansas is actually bordered to the south by Oklahoma, which compared to most other states, is pretty much like a “foreign country.”  Either that, or geologists have somehow missed a massive tectonic plate shift of “biblical proportions.”  Then again, there’s always the possibility that Sen. Marshall is also “borderline” crazy.


Meanwhile, conservative Republicans are reportedly busy trying to make a few changes to the wording on the Statue of Liberty plaque that currently reads “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.”  The new, revised Republican version would add the phrase “Terms and conditions may apply!”


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles.  In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.”  When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now!  Let’s get real.  It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene.  Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway.  Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform.   Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate.   Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?”  Say it ain’t so!   Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum.   Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically.   Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.”   Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com