You've Got to Be Kidding?

Harvard Scientist Predicts Coronavirus May Infect 70% of Humanity:  Harvard University epidemiologist Marc Lipsitch is predicting the coronavirus "will ultimately not be containable,” and - within a year, could infect up to 70 percent of humanity. Well, that sounds rather comforting - to almost no one!  Anyway, I suppose I’d better get busy and stock up on some strong meds. I think about a case of Jack Daniels ought to do the trick. Now, on a positive note for Republicans, those figures only reflect the virus infecting humans, so that pretty much excludes anyone who’s ever served in the Trump Administration. And as for Trump himself, I think he’s pretty safe from ever coming in contact with the virus.  I mean, even Trump supporters know viruses don’t play golf. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Study Identifies Largest Flying Creature That Ever Lived:   Scientists have finally identified and unveiled a new airplane-sized species of pterosaur named Cryodrakon boreas, which scientists say was first discovered more than 30 years ago in Alberta, Canada - a species that lorded over the primeval skies in the late Cretaceous period. Wow, isn’t it totally exciting when science make these interesting new discoveries?  Now, it’s simply a matter of time before all those YouTube videos start coming out, claiming recent sightings.  Those folks never disappoint my friends.    And, they’re saying "these remains were actually first discovered more than 30 years ago in Alberta, Canada?”  I guess that pretty much explains the red maple leaf on its back.  Wonder how the hell they were able to figure out the creature flew for Air Canada? But what the hell do I know?  I mean, I’m certainly no expert on dinosaurs, pterosaurs or even Air Canad...

Biologists Clash Over the Idea That Plants Are Conscious:   Some traditionally minded botanists in the US, UK and Germany are beginning to fight back after nearly a decade of research which suggested that plants can have feelings, intentions and even consciousness.   Good grief, are really they serious?  Why, if these researchers are actually correct, then my next door neighbor lady is one huge offender.  I mean, just the other day - I observed her denigrating her dandelions, cussing out her chrysanthemums and pissing-off her petunias.  Talk about having issues!   Now, after reading this article, I’m starting to feel rather bad about the whole situation.  But the thing is, I have no idea to whom or even how one would go about reporting an incident of this nature.  That is, without some wise-ass psychiatrist trying to put me back on the heavy meds again. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com