You've Got to Be Kidding?

In a surefire sign indicating how difficult its getting for Russian President Vladimir Putin to find soldiers to fight in his war with Ukraine, a Russian murderer and cannibal - who killed at least 4 people and even ate one of his victims - has been released from prison to go fight in Ukraine.   Denis Gorin, 44, who was sentenced to 22 years in a special-regime prison colony for murder in 2018, has been told if he survives after six months at the front - he'll be a free man when he returns to Russia. Wow!  Wonder how they talked him into that?   I mean, that war with Ukraine is no “picnic.”   Although, I’m sure a man like Gorin could easily turn it into one.   Hell, the Russians probably promised him he’d get to eat everything he kills.   The Russians must figure as long as they don’t make him a cook, everything will be just fine.   That said, with cannibalism now in the mix, next time Western forces supply Ukraine with military armaments, maybe they s...

In response to rumors of a possible coup in Russia, Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga) posted yet another pro-Putin message on Twitter which read, “After our government has been funding a proxy war with Russia in Ukraine for over a year, I sure hope our government isn’t behind a coup attempt currently happening in Russia.”  Then adding, “Regime change in a nuclear-armed country may lead to terrible consequences the American people don’t want." Wow, I’m just shocked!  Marjorie Trailer Greene is basically implying President Joe Biden is behind the Russian coup.  Of course, with Greene, its sometimes hard to tell if she’s really serious - or if she’s just “horsing” around.  Personally, I think we need to take Greene seriously.  Why being as close to Donald Trump as she is - she can no-doubt impeach President Biden - simply by just “thinking him impeached.”  Now, in her defense, MAGA Republicans claim all Rep. Greene really wants is a “stable Russia,” or was that a ...

A chess-playing robot in Russia created quite a controversy while playing a 7-year-old opponent, a child who is one of the top youth chess competitors in Moscow.  The computer apparently became flustered during the match because its human opponent was playing too rapidly - so it reached out and grabbed the youngster's finger, snapping and breaking it.   Organizers as well as the computer manufacturer claim the boy acted too quickly after the robot's move, which caused the machine to “fail to reset.” Gee, you mean to tell me the friggin’ machine broke the kid’s finger because it “failed to reset?”  I mean, who the hell programmed that computer anyway - Tonya Harding?  Why, it’s a damn shame there wasn’t a “good computer with a gun” anywhere nearby.  All I can say is, while the damn thing was busy “resetting itself,” how about resetting the poor kid’s finger too?  Now, I hate to be a “robot shamer,” but that seems like the least it could do.   Of cou...

After months of denials that Russia is driven by imperial ambitions in Ukraine, a new video shows Vladimir Putin appearing to embrace that concept - comparing himself to the 18th-century Russian tsar Peter the Great, drawing a parallel between what he portrayed as their twin historic quests to win back Russian lands.   Come on!  Putin’s no “Peter the Great.”  He’s just a “big dick.”  Hell, the way things have been going for him in Ukraine, he’s not even "Peter, the Modestly Successful.”  My guess is the whole thing stemmed from a big misunderstanding when Trump and he last met, and Trump tried to flatter Putin by telling him he had a “great Peter.” Now, who knows what kind of promises Trump made to Putin in secret, but word has it the Biden Administration has told Putin that there is “no way he’s ever gonna get Alaska back, but we will consider sending him Sarah Palin if he’d like."  Hell, why not?  Sarah’s basically been on his payroll for years ...

In an upcoming documentary, Russian leader Vladimir Putin claimed that after the Soviet Union’s demise, he was forced to drive a taxi to make ends meet.   Putin, now considered one of the world’s richest men, was a Colonel for the KGB in East Germany, before the Soviet Union’s collapse. Wait a minute, you’re telling me Vladimir Putin actually drove a cab?  That must have been just after his “polonium milkshake stand” failed.  But sure, I believe Putin drove a cab - and Donald Trump got his start as a bus driver too!  All I can say is, if it’s true, then it’s probably the only honest work Putin’s ever had.  Of course, one could make the argument that for the past 20 years, Putin’s been taking the entire Russian population “for a ride.” I mean, how does one go from driving a cab, to being one of the richest people in the entire world?  Now, I’ve never driven a cab in Russia, but I’m guessing the tips must have been pretty damn good.  Word has it that ...

World’s Largest Meat Supplier Hit By Massive Cyberattack:  Work has stopped at several U.S. meat processing plants after JBS, the world's largest meat producer, was hit with a major cyberattack which forced it to cease cattle-slaughtering operations at 13 of its meat processing plants in the U.S. on Tuesday.   This incident came just three weeks after the Colonial Pipeline hack disrupted fuel operations in the U.S. Wow, kinda makes you wonder, just who in the hell would wanna attack a meatpacking plant?  Could it have been hamburglars?  Now, cybersecurity experts are claiming it was the Russians, but why would they go after a meat supplier?  I mean, is it possible that Vladimir Putin and the Russians have gone vegan, and this is their way of promoting living a much healthier lifestyle for our planet?    Frankly, this really boggles the mind.  I mean, meat plants really use computers?  Who knew?  Then perhaps it’s time to spend a few o...

FBI Warned Giuliani He was Target of a Russian Influence Operation:  It’s being reported that the FBI warned Rudy Giuliani, Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), and conservative media outlets such as One America News (OAN) in late 2019, that they were the target of a Russian influence operation - aimed at circulating lies intended to damage Joe Biden politically in order to influence the outcome of the 2020 election. Perhaps, but no matter how much evidence the Feds may have on him, Giuliani may end up proving to be an extremely difficult person to prosecute in court.  That’s because he’s consistently shown time after time that he’s capable of cutting some of the nastiest farts imaginable while being questioned on the witness stand - thereby making cross-examination nearly impossible without sophisticated respiratory equipment. I mean, given these new revelations, one does have to ask, just who in the hell would continue having contact with Russian operatives, after they’ve been w...

Trump Downplays Russian Involvement in Cyberattack:   After a prolonged silence, President Trump finally commented on the massive cybersecurity breach, contradicting Secretary of State Pompeo and other top officials, by scoffing at the focus being on the Kremlin, and downplaying the impact of the intrusions.   Intrusions, which the nation’s top cybersecurity agency is warning poses a “grave” threat to government and private networks.   The President then suggested, without any evidence, that it may be China - and not Russia - who is behind this cyber-espionage operation. So, President Trump is now attempting to blame everything on China instead of Russia, regardless of Pompeo’s evidence to the contrary?  Sounds like Mr. Trump must have gotten an angry call from the boss.  Well, I suppose this means we’re quickly approaching the “Last Days of Pompeo.” Now, if you can remember, when Trump’s not blaming things on China, then he usually blaming some “400-pound ...

Source:  BBC.com Senate Report Labels Trump 2016 Campaign a Grave Counterintelligence Threat:   A newly released exhaustive investigation, which was run by members of President Trump’s own political party, is portraying the President’s 2016 campaign as a “grave security threat” to the United States of America, because of its myriad connections to Moscow, eagerness to exploit assistance from the Kremlin, and determination to conceal the full extent of its conduct. As soon as the report became public, many Americans soon began to wonder just how any Republicans could still be supportive of this “band of traitors?”  Well, the answer is, the Republican Party is actually a very big tent…for traitors. Meanwhile, some are even suggesting that Trump and his cohorts, ought be tried and then hung on the White House lawn - for treason.  Of course, no one knows if Trump will ever be hung.  But, one thing we do know is - he’ll never be well-hung .  At least, according...

Intelligence Data Indicates Russia Actively Trying to Interfere in US Election:  New intelligence data show that while China may actually “prefer” Joe Biden over Donald Trump, China’s efforts are more like classic spying, while Russia is “actively working” to meddle in our elections on Trump’s behalf.   When cornered about the issue, White House National Security Adviser Robert O’Brien admitted Russia is trying to interfere, but added that “it’s not just Russia, the Chinese don’t want the President reelected.”    Perhaps, but I got some bad news for O’Brien.  Roughly two thirds of Americans, and probably 90% of the rest of the world - don’t want to see Trump reelected either.  Besides, Trump is doing more then China could ever dream of, to sabotage himself.  Hell, not only does Trump not wanna prevent foreign election tampering, he’s actually counting on it.   The fact is, while Chinese leaders may “prefer" Joe Biden over Donald Trump, their ...

Russia Offered Afghans Bounty to Kill U.S. Troops:   American intelligence officials have concluded that a Russian military intelligence unit secretly offered bounties to Taliban-linked militants for killing coalition forces in Afghanistan - including targeting American troops, and indicated that President Trump was briefed in the matter back in March, presented with retaliation options, but did nothing.  Gee, this means Trump knew that Russia was targeting Americans for assassination before he insisted that Russia be reinstated back into the G7 and before he started pulling American troops out of Europe, thereby strengthening Russia’s influence in the region. Of course, we’re all familiar with how Trump and the Republicans are always parading around, boasting about how much they “support the Troops.”  Well, after these revelations, I think it would only be fair to ask “oh really - whose troops?” Meanwhile, angry Republicans claimed it’s just plain “dirt...

Putin Claims Impeachment Case Against Trump is Fabricated:   Speaking at his annual year-end news conference, Russian President Vladimir Putin claimed that U.S. Democrats had impeached President Donald Trump for "fabricated" reasons,” in an effort to reverse Donald Trump’s 2016 election victory. Now, before you laugh, perhaps you'd better ask yourself “who really understands what actually went down in our 2016 elections better than Vladimir Putin?”  And now, an extremely grateful President Putin is speaking up for all those good folks who’s votes helped elect both he and Donald J. Trump as your President.    Why, Trump and Putin are so tight, I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t fly right over here and testify at the upcoming senate hearings - as a Trump character witness.  Why, he’d be welcomed like a rockstar by Republicans.   After all, it’s pretty obvious what a close bond there is between Putin and Trump.  You know, a bond not un...

Barr Disputes Key Inspector General Finding About FBI’s Russia Investigation:   Attorney General William P. Barr is telling associates he disagrees with the main point of the Justice Department’s inspector general’s finding - that the FBI had enough information in July 2016 to justify launching an investigation into members of the Trump campaign. Well, in that case, it sounds like it’s about damn time for Attorney General Barr and the rest of the Trump DOJ - to open up an investigation of the inspector general’s investigation of the investigators.  But then, who’ll investigate the people who investigated the investigators?  Now, don’t ask me - hell, I can’t even do the math. Anyway, it’s interesting how things have now gotten to the point where - when the Russians wanna disseminate their propaganda, they no longer even bother to post on Facebook - hell, they just go directly through Bill Barr.  One thing’s for sure, Vladimir Putin is certainly turning out ...

Trump Supporters Insisting God Chose Him to be President:   In fighting back against what they consider bogus impeachment hearings, President Trump’s hard-line supporters are pointing out that not only was the President put into office by the votes cast from 63 million Americans, but Donald Trump was also “God’s choice for the Oval Office.” Well, well, well - you don’t say!  Now, I find that rather interesting, given how well documented it is that Donald Trump actually lost the popular vote by 3 million votes.  Hell, by that account, it sounds an awful lot like God actually chose Hillary - but then Putin overrode Him on the issue.    Anyway, even if God did put Trump in the White House, let’s be honest and admit He certainly didn’t do alone.  He definitely had a helluva lotta help from the good folks over at Breitbart, Fox News, Facebook, Twitter and, of course - Vladimir Putin.   Now call me a heretic, but if we must interpret all thi...

Navy Black Sea Patrol Canceled After Trump Calls It Hostile to Russia:   An aide to a top Ukraine envoy has testified that the US Navy canceled a routine Black Sea patrol after President Trump complained to then-national security adviser John Bolton - that the exercise was hostile to Russia. Oh my gosh, WE - are SO sorry!  But, come on!  How was America supposed to know that the Black Sea was Putin’s private lake?  I mean, there are no signs.  And talk about surprises - who knew Vladimir Putin is now running our military too?  Good grief, that’s gotta be a lotta additional responsibility for the poor guy! Anyway, at least that pretty much explains Trump’s Black Sea actions.  I mean, he was just following the chain of command.  And isn’t that what military people are supposed to do?     I’ll tell you one thing, I think it’s pretty obvious this Trump fella is gonna be a shoo-in for the Kremlin’s next Employee of the Mon...

Trump’s Syrian Pullout Leaves Putin in Charge:  Analysts say that when President Trump made his shocking decision to pull out of Syria and abandon our Kurdish allies, he handed Russia and Vladimir Putin the keys to the undisputed political leadership throughout the region. On the other hand, economists would probably argue that these events aren’t actually Putin victories, they’re simply interest payments and dividends - paid as a result of Putin’s various investments in Donald Trump, as well as his lovely family and friends. Anyway, I’m guessing this means Mr Putin isn’t likely to be going public with any of that incriminating information he’s been holding on Trump and his associates any time soon.  Funny how conservatives head’s literally explode with the mere mention of Colin Kaepernick, yet they’re perfectly fine with all this. For example, I have a cousin who swears Donald Trump will go down in history as “America’s greatest president.”  Of course, on ...

Trump Meets Giuliani for Lunch In Show of Support:   President Trump and Rudy Giuliani met for lunch at Trump’s golf course in Sterling, Virginia this past weekend, in a show of support for Giuliani amid revelations that prosecutors were investigating Giuliani for possible lobbying and campaign violations. Word on the street has it that Trump feasted on burgers and Diet Cokes and Giuliani just ate crow.  Call me cynical, but this sure feels an awful lot like a “let’s get our stories straight luncheon!”   The luncheon was actually quite intimate, just Trump and Rudy - and their Russian translator.  I didn’t know, given Trump’s Track record - I think I’d seriously consider hiring a “food taster” to accompany me before attending that luncheon. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Two Giuliani Associates Arrested Trying Flee the Country:  Two associates of President Trump’s personal attorney Rudolph W. Giuliani, have been arrested at Dulles International Airport outside of Washington DC - trying to flee the country on charges they schemed to funnel foreign money to U.S. politicians to try and influence U.S.-Ukraine relations. I simply can’t believe it!  Why these two look like a couple of jolly fellows straight out of a Mary Poppins movie - assuming Mary Poppins was about to be drugged and trafficked over to Eastern Europe and sold into slavery and prostitution.  Anyway, I wouldn’t feel too bad for them.  Why, if they do ever get out of prison, I’m sure they’ll easily find lots of work in Quentin Tarantino movies. Of course, Trump is claiming he doesn’t even know them.  I mean, just because there’s multiple pictures of them all together, they meet constantly with his lawyer, they donated hundreds of thousands to his campaign, d...

Trump Denouncing Impeachment Inquiry as a Coup:   President Trump has escalated his criticism of the Democrat’s impeachment inquiry by claiming, "as I learn more and more each day, I am coming to the conclusion that what is taking place is not an impeachment, it is a coup.” Well, my my - a coup d'état?  Now, that’s a pretty big concept to grasp for someone with a vocabulary like Donald’s.  Although, from what I can tell, the real “coup” took place when Donald Trump took up residence in the White House.  You remember that, just after we had that little Russian election interference thingy?  But regardless of that, I would assume even a Trump supporter would be smart enough to understand that an impeachment inquiry - predicated on facts which both the President and his attorney have actually admitted to on live TV, could not a be “coup.”   Gee, I wonder if Trump also feels Bill Clinton’s impeachment was a coup?  Well, if the coup...

Mike Pompeo Joined Trump On Call With Ukrainian President:   The Wall Street Journal reports that a senior State Department official says Secretary of State Mike Pompeo actually took part in the now-infamous July 25th call between President Donald Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. Hum, it seems the plot thickens!  And I’m quite sure the BS will also.  I mean, it was just a couple of weeks ago when Secretary Pompeo completely denied having any knowledge of the phone call.  Why, it’s almost as if the Trump Administration is trying to cover something up.  And, as if confessing to their crimes right on national TV wasn’t dumb enough, these morons also mistakenly e-mailed the DNC - all of the talking points they plan to use to defend Trump's criminal actions.  I tell you, these have to be some of the dumbest crooks ever.  Anyway, so we now have Trump, Barr, Rudy and Pompeo - so many traitors, so little time.  And poor ...