Russian Cannibal Serial Killer Pardoned by Putin to Fight in Ukraine

In a surefire sign indicating how difficult its getting for Russian President Vladimir Putin to find soldiers to fight in his war with Ukraine, a Russian murderer and cannibal - who killed at least 4 people and even ate one of his victims - has been released from prison to go fight in Ukraine. Denis Gorin, 44, who was sentenced to 22 years in a special-regime prison colony for murder in 2018, has been told if he survives after six months at the front - he'll be a free man when he returns to Russia.

Wow! Wonder how they talked him into that? I mean, that war with Ukraine is no “picnic.” Although, I’m sure a man like Gorin could easily turn it into one. Hell, the Russians probably promised him he’d get to eat everything he kills. The Russians must figure as long as they don’t make him a cook, everything will be just fine. That said, with cannibalism now in the mix, next time Western forces supply Ukraine with military armaments, maybe they should also consider throwing in a few wooden stakes.

One thing’s for sure: this conjures up rather ominous connotations when someone points out that “Comrade Gorin will now be ‘serving’ in the military.” Sure, he will, but just what or who will he be “serving” is what inquiring minds want to know? A Russian buffet? Of course, on a positive note, if Gorin controls his impulses and eats only Ukrainian soldiers, then Vlad will likely promote him to general.

So, you may ask, what’s to stop him from dining on the folks in his very own platoon? Fair enough, but its important to remember those folks are also likely rapists and murderers themselves, so they’ll probably all lay off each other - just out of “professional courtesy.” Besides, if and when Gorin does get back to Russia after his military service, he’ll have plenty of time to restock his refrigerator.

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