You've Got to Be Kidding?

With a video message and a fake quote from Winston Churchill that actually turned out to be a line from a 1930s Budweiser beer ad campaign, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis suspended his Republican presidential campaign on Elon Musk’s far-right social media platform “X” by quoting, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”   DeSantis concluded by stating, “It’s clear to me that a majority of Republican primary voters want to give Donald Trump another chance,” and he closed by giving Trump his full endorsement. So, DeSantis bowed out of the race by quoting an old Budweiser beer ad ?   Now, I don’t like to sound critical, but about the only person I can think of who would be impressed by an old Budweiser ad - would be Justice Brett Kavanaugh.   We all know Kavanaugh’s a guy who really likes his beer.   Ironically, DeSantis’ primary super PAC was actually named “Never Back Down.”   Better modify that to,   “We won’t bac...

In a tense exchange with CBS Evening News’ Norah O’Donnell, Florida Gov. and Republican presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis said he wouldn't rule out launching missiles into Mexico to combat drug cartels shipping drugs into this country if elected president.   This wasn’t the first time DeSantis has threatened the use of military force against Mexico.   At the presidential debate in August, DeSantis said he would send U.S. special forces over the border.   When asked if troops would be allowed to shoot migrants crossing the border, the governor said: “A woman carrying a baby would not be the focus, but when somebody’s got a ‘backpack on,’ and they’re breaking through the wall, you know that’s hostile intent, and you have every right to take action under those circumstances.” Wait, the little Floridian dictator said what?   Now, let’s see.   So far, DeSantis has declared war on teachers teaching history, LGBTQ+ folks, drag queens, free speech, women’s healthcare, e...

I n keeping with Gov. Ron DeSantis’ wish to eradicate “Woke” from the state’s Public School System, the Florida Board of Education has just voted to approve an addition to the American history curriculum, which will also teach students about the “benefits of slavery.”   This new standard for teaching means Middle School students in Florida will now be taught a new curriculum that will promote the idea that slavery gave black people “skills” which could also be “used for their personal benefit.” And now a word from our Republican US Supreme Court - “Hi, my name is Clarence Thomas - and I approve this curriculum!”  Next up for the Florida school system, “How Auschwitz developed successful weight loss techniques.”   Hell, instead of reparations, as other states are considering, descendants of slaves living in Florida can soon expect to receive an “invoice” from the state to cover the costs of their descendant’s “apprenticeship training.” Now, with regard to slaves being taug...

So, it seems Donald Trump isn't the only Republican candidate for president who spent Memorial Day vowing to crush his political enemies.   While appearing on Fox and Friends, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was asked, “Why is right now the time for Ron DeSantis to run for President?”   The Florida Governor responded by saying, “Because I will serve two terms, and I will destroy leftism in this country.” Wait - the hateful little bigot who is currently getting his ass kicked by Mickey Mouse said what?  Now, whoa there, Miami Mussolini!   Is it just me, or does this resentful little prick have about as much broad appeal as a bowl of rotten fruit?   He should remember the rest of the country isn’t fucking Florida.   You see, unlike Ponce de Leon, Ron DeSantis isn’t interested in finding Florida’s “Fountain of Youth.”   Instead, he headed straight for the “Fountain of Hate,” and has hopes to bathe the rest of the country in its nasty waters. I mean, what’...

Florida Republican state Senator Jason Brodeur has just introduced a new bill to require bloggers who write about Governor Ron DeSantis and other members of the Florida executive cabinet or legislature to “register with the state, report their sources of income, or face heavy fines.” Gee, I wonder if this bill also includes a guy named Donald Trump, because my guess is he's about to spew some pretty nasty shit about Gov. DeSantis in the coming months.   Anyway, let me guess.   I’m supposed to hand in a draft of any blog I write to those burley guys in the brownshirts - before I can publish it?   Now, this might come as kind of a shock, but perhaps someone ought to mention to Gov. DeSantis and his thugs that with this new-fangled thing they call the internet, you really don’t have to physically be in Florida in order to blog about it. But we get it!  The new Ron DeSantis mantra for Florida is, “Register Writers, Not Guns!”   Now, not to be critical, but that real...

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis isn’t stopping his attack on Florida education by simply prohibiting Black History Classes; he’s now trying to require school girls to report their menstrual information to the state before they will be permitted to participate in school sports.   In fact, a subcommittee of the FHSAA just voted to make it mandatory that female athletes answer these questions if they want to participate in school athletics: When was your most recent menstrual period? How much time do you usually have from the start of one period to the start of another? How many periods have you had in the last year? What was the longest time between periods in the last year? They then want kids to upload all this information to a third-party platform that is not bound by HIPAA - where the information could be forced to be disclosed under subpoena, which could result in making the girls’ menstrual information public. Well, given how intent the governor seems to be about monitor...

InfoWars host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has decided to suspend his long-time support for former president Donald Trump, and is now backing Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis in the 2024 presidential race, whom Jones claims is “way better than Trump.”   Jones explained that “I pigheadedly supported [Trump] a few years ago, even though I disagreed with his Warp Speed” program to develop the COVID vaccine, but he stuck with him because he felt anything would be better than Biden or Hillary.   Jones says he’s now supporting Ron DeSantis because "I can look in his eyes,” adding that “DeSantis is sincere!” OK, sure - but did you know that if you look directly into Donald Trump’s eyes for long enough, you can actually see the original recipe for Colonel Sanders’ secret sauce - so there’s that!  Even so, it’s no real surprise when a guy like Alex Jones, who makes his living by causing others to suffer pain and misery, could “look into Ron DeSantis’ eyes,” and really like what h...

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has just announced the “Stop the Wrongs to Our Kids and Employees” Act (aka the ‘WOKE Act’), a legislative proposal that would encourage citizens to spy on teachers in the classroom, and then sue them and their school district if they felt the school is teaching an “aspect” of Critical Race Theory (CRT).   Critics say this law could make it extremely difficult for educators to teach students subjects such as civics and history.   So, Gov. DeSantis wants teachers and school districts to get sued if students and parents don’t like what schools are teaching?  Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d almost think Florida Republicans are pulling a slick little “cancel culture” move there.  Why, it’s almost like “ye who doth protest too much.”   Anyway, I do have to admit that this DeSantis fellow really has things all figured out.  Why, under his genius legislation, DeSantis has things set up so Florida taxpayers, will basically be “sui...

Ron DeSantis Orders Florida’s Flags Lowered to Honor Rush Limbaugh:   Florida’s Republican Governor Ron DeSantis on Friday announced he will order flags across the state to be lowered, to honor controversial talk show host and Trump’s Medal of Freedom honoree Rush Limbaugh - whom DeSantis described as an “absolute legend.” Wow, that’s quite the honor!  Having all of Florida’s dittoheads, lowering their Confederate and Nazi flags to half-mast - all in your honor?  And, they won’t really need to “lower” them all that far, because when you’re honoring a weasel like Rush, you’ve already gone about as low as you can possibly go anyway. Of course, some folks are always gonna argue that “Florida is much better than this.”  Well, the simple answer is - “no it’s not!”  In fact, Florida is the kind of place where many of us were surprised that Governor DeSantis didn’t order flags at half-staff - when Jeffrey Epstein died. Besides, I think I’ve got a much better ide...