Ron DeSantis Orders Florida’s Flags Lowered to Honor Rush Limbaugh

Ron DeSantis Orders Florida’s Flags Lowered to Honor Rush Limbaugh: Florida’s Republican Governor Ron DeSantis on Friday announced he will order flags across the state to be lowered, to honor controversial talk show host and Trump’s Medal of Freedom honoree Rush Limbaugh - whom DeSantis described as an “absolute legend.”

Wow, that’s quite the honor! Having all of Florida’s dittoheads, lowering their Confederate and Nazi flags to half-mast - all in your honor? And, they won’t really need to “lower” them all that far, because when you’re honoring a weasel like Rush, you’ve already gone about as low as you can possibly go anyway.

Of course, some folks are always gonna argue that “Florida is much better than this.” Well, the simple answer is - “no it’s not!” In fact, Florida is the kind of place where many of us were surprised that Governor DeSantis didn’t order flags at half-staff - when Jeffrey Epstein died.

Besides, I think I’ve got a much better idea than all this flag-lowering stuff anyway! How about we arrange one of those old-fashioned political compromises here and, in lieu of lowering flags - everyone instead lower their pants to half-mast, just as Rush’s funeral procession passes by. Now, that’s what I call - a fitting send-off!

Johnny Robish Comedy

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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