You've Got to Be Kidding?

Conspiracy theorist and right-wing congressman Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC), has managed to anger even his most conservative Republican colleagues, after recently telling a podcast host that the “sexual perversion” in Washington is so rampant that even Republicans are involved.   Cawthorn claims he gets invited to so-called “sexual get-togethers” at prominent politicians’ homes, which basically turn out to be orgies, with plenty of cocaine floating around for everyone’s use.   Cawthorn joins other extreme right-wing professional media provocateurs like Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Ga), Lauren Boebert (Colo), and Matt Gaetz (Fla), who frequently promote the QAnon belief that Democratic leaders and Hollywood elites are running a transnational pedophile cabal, but including establishment Republicans as co-conspirators is taking this to a whole new level.      Gee, is it just me, or does it sound like Will Smith may have slapped the wrong guy?  That said, in all fairness, I do have to ad

Speaking at a recent rally for Donald Trump in her native Georgia, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga) issued a warning to Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg and his husband Chasten - that they had better “stay out of our girls’ bathrooms!” Now, my first thought is whenever I hear anyone say something that’s so completely stupid as this was, I begin to wonder if “perhaps they’ve had a stroke, suffered a severe head injury after getting slapped by Will Smith, or maybe just ate one helluva lot of lead paint as a child?”   But then I remember, this is Marjorie Taylor Greene we’re talking about.   I mean, even if she did have a stroke or a severe head injury, how in the hell would anyone possibly be able to tell the difference? My guess is, this is just what happens when you're so anxious to smear LGBTQ people, that you forget to make any sense.  She apparently doesn't even understand the difference between “gay men,” and “transgender women.”  The thing is, Buttigieg and

Former President Donald Trump has filed a lawsuit against former secretary of state Hillary Clinton, the Democratic National Committee, and others, alleging that they “maliciously conspired to weave a false narrative” that his campaign colluded with Russia during the 2016 presidential race. Wow!  Perhaps someone ought to remind Mr. Trump that he actually won that election, albeit via the Electoral College.  I mean, Trump can’t seriously want to take this to court, can he?  Why, “discovery” would absolutely destroy him.  Not to mention, he’d also have to give a deposition.  After all, he’s the friggin’ plaintiff in this case.  Perhaps his attorneys should explain to him what the term “perjury” means.  Of course, swearing him in would need to be phrased a bit differently for him.  Sort of like “Have you ever told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  And, if you haven’t, then why the hell not?”  Frankly, it makes you wonder who would even want to take a case of his?

The Times of Northwest Indiana is reporting that Sen. Mike Braun (R-IN) told reporters in a conference call that he would support the Supreme Court overturning the 1967 “Loving v. Virginia" decision, which struck down state bans on interracial marriage.   Braun specifically added he is fine with interracial couples getting married in one state, and for other states refusing to recognize that marriage, claiming these issues should be up to the states, not the Federal Government. Gee, I’m gonna go out on a limb here, and guess Sen. Braun probably does not plan to approve Ketanji Brown Jackson’s appointment to the Supreme Court.  Now, is it just me, or does it seem like more and more Republicans are intentionally saying all the “quiet parts” right out loud these days?  So, Sen. Braun would tell a married couple coming from another state that they are not legally married in his state.  Smart move.  That way, he could then turn around and charge them with “fornication.” Anyway, I gu

When asked by Newsmax host Eric Bolling, Sarah Palin said on Monday she would be "honored" to take over the late Alaska Republican Don Young’s seat in Congress.   Rep. Young only died just a few days ago, but Palin indicated that she’s ready and willing to head to Washington to fill Rep. Young’s “big shoes.” Now, wait a minute!  Sarah Palin in Congress?  We can’t afford to send Sarah Palin to Washington.  What about our national security?  Why, we’re right in the middle of a stand-off with the Russians, and Sarah happens to be the only person in America who can actually see what’s going on in Russia, and right from her front porch.  Just think about it, can we as a nation, actually afford to lose that kind of “intel” at this critical moment?  I think not! Of course, one solution might be in Sarah’s absence, get her son Track Palin to sit on her porch, drink beer and keep an eye on those Ruskies for us.  That is assuming it wouldn’t interfere with any of those parole restri

It’s being reported that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tx) became so upset, out-of-control, and abusive to airline staff recently at the airport in Bozeman, Montana, that law enforcement had to be called in to help resolve the issue.   Bozeman airport is where Republicans frequently fly in and out for conservative fundraisers at venues like the Yellowstone Club and Big Sky.   It's also possible flights were full because its nearing the weekend for Spring Break, or bad weather prevented some flights from departing the city. Geez, is it just me, or does it seem like every time Ted Cruz tries to fly, it ends up turning into a scene from the movie “Airplane?”  Ironically, Cruz recently put out a video, where he claimed pilots and airline personnel are always coming up and hugging him whenever he flies due to his opposition to vaccine and mask mandates.  I'm guessing there weren’t any hugs from pilots or airline staffers that day.  Ah, maybe they were just all arguing over who’d get to be first

A new study suggests wild deer may have infected humans with the COVID-19 virus, although it has not yet been definitively confirmed.   White-tailed deer on Staten Island were the first wild animals with documented Omicron infections, but the coronavirus has since been found in deer in 15 additional states. Oh, deer!  Well, I suppose it’s not all that surprising, given that it’s nearly impossible to get the 4-legged bastards to wear face masks in public.  Guess that explains why the TSA won’t allow wild deer to fly on commercial airlines.  So, the first COVID infections in deer were discovered on Staten Island?  Why, that means SNL’s Pete Davidson probably has it.  We can only hope Davidson hasn’t spread it through the entire Kardashian clan because obviously, that would impact a helluva lot of NBA players! Anyway, time for Fox News to queue up some huge conspiracy about “Dr. Fauci being seen wandering through the woods of North America, deliberately infecting wild deer so he can

With a horrific war raging in Ukraine, Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) decided it was time she took to the House floor to repeat the “Kremlin narrative” about how Joe Biden and the “US is funding biolabs in Ukraine.”   Greene did this without any real evidence to support her accusations, other than what people in her district told her they read about on the internet.   But, never mind that, Greene claimed “There are reports of possibly deadly pathogens escaping these biolabs in places like Ukraine, Georgia, Kazakhstan that is responsible for killing people,” before adding “"What if that's true?”   She then introduced a bill in Congress to prevent something she has absolutely no evidence is even occurring. Gee, it sure sounds like all that redistricting the Republican Party did down in Georgia, finally gave the Russian Federation the representation they paid for in the US Congress.  It’s sort of like Joe Biden has Jen Psaki as his Press Secretary, while Vladimir Putin gets Mar

The United States Senate has unanimously voted to end the biannual practice of “spring forward” and “fall back” under a bill that would make daylight saving time permanent, a move that reflects the increasingly popular view that the twice-yearly disruption hurts sleep and poses health and safety risks.   Under the measure, the shift to permanent daylight saving time would take effect next year. Angry daylight saving time advocates complained that Congress sure took their damn “time” passing this.  Of course, not everyone was happy about the passage of the bill.  Arizona, which does not recognize daylight saving time and remains on Mountain Standard Time year-round, has already indicated they will reject the vote and demand a recount.  In addition, Arizona Republicans announced their intent to convene the state legislature, in a united effort to censure “ Father Time .”  Why, this bill has become so controversial, it can only properly be referred to it as “Hourgate.” Meanwhile, liber

Rep Adam Kinzinger (R-Il) set off a huge tweetstorm this week, by making fun of Donald Trump's obsession with “manliness."   In his tweet, Kinzinger described Trump as being “the most soft, coddled person I’ve met,” adding that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is only 5’7’, but is “three times the man” Trump will ever be. So, Trump wants us to think he’s a tough guy, eh?  Why, who knew being loud, obnoxious, and self-pitying was a sign of strength?  Hell, then with all his name-calling and whining about how badly he’s treated, Trump must be “super masculine.”  Well, at least to his base of half-wits and simpletons anyway.  I mean, these folks look to Trump as their “The Great White Hope.”  Unfortunately, what they’re really getting is “The Great White Dope.”   I mean, who knew tough guys wear orange pancake makeup along with a professionally coiffed combover, shit on gold-plated toilets, are as soft and pudgy as the Pillsbury Doughboy, dance like they’re having a stro

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) went back on the Alex Jones show this week to discuss a conspiracy theory called the "Great Reset,” which he believes is a plot by capitalists to “impose socialism on the world,” with the ultimate goal being a "90% population reduction by 2030.”   Jones told Greene he expects a nuclear war to "breakout" in the coming days as a part of the "Great Reset . ”   Jones added that “They think you're dumb and will think the breakdown of civilization, the insane energy and food prices, along with and all the hyperinflation, is because of Russian President Vladimir Putin - not because of the Great Reset, not because of Dr. Anthony Fauci." Wow, the “Great Reset” eh?  Gee, that is some really “big news!”  Well, at least “big news” for some, but “comedy” for most of the rest of us.  Now, in their defense, I have to admit I had to pull one of those “Great Resets” myself after my iPhone completely froze up on me, but I digress.  No

Arizona state Senator Wendy Rogers (R) drew huge applause and set fundraising records after speaking at anti-Semite and white supremacist Nick Fuentes’ “ America First Political Action Conference ” in Orlando last month.   Sen Rogers called for gruesome violence against political opponents whom she labeled as “traitors,” excoriating critics of the “honorable” Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee as well as proponents of the “bioweapon” coronavirus vaccine.   Rogers went on to demand “We need to build more gallows,” adding that such a deadly fate would “make an example of these traitors who’ve betrayed our country.”   Rogers is also a proud member of the Oath Keepers militia group who claims Ukraine President Zelensky is a “globalist puppet for George Soros and the Clintons.” Wow, I hadn’t heard of her before, but she sounds really nice.  Is it just my imagination, or does it seem as if Republicans are now cruising psychiatric wards, to find candidates to run for public office?  Apparently,

While admitting Vladimir Putin is a bad man and his war against Ukraine ill-conceived, Texas Congressman Chip Roy said that when it comes to “War Crimes,” we should be examining Anthony Fauci rather than Vladimir Putin.  Rep. Roy went on to claim that what Putin has done, pales in comparison to what Fauci has done. Wow, this Congressman Chip Roy fellow is right on the money with this one.  I mean, everyone knows encouraging people to get vaccinated and wear face masks to protect their health - is way worse than dropping lethal bombs on innocent people in a country you’re trying to invade and install a puppet government. The fact is, methinks Republicans are just pissed that their “culture war” has now been put on the back burner, after getting overshadowed by an “actual war.”  That said, I do feel empathy for these poor, half-wit MAGAs who still have another 9 months to wait, before they can start whining about the “War on Christmas” again.   Speaking of which, it’s almost as if they’r

Pat Robertson came out of “retirement” this week to weigh in on the Russian invasion of Ukraine for his 700 Club audience.   Robertson claims that regardless of all the brutal, horrific deaths, and thousands of uprooted families, Vladimir Putin is actually fulfilling the “will of God” by conducting this Ukraine invasion.   Robertson explains that “if you read Ezekiel, it tells you that Putin is being compelled by God to link up with Turkey and that will trigger a massive ‘End Times’ invasion of Israel.” Gee whiz!  You mean old Pat Robertson’s back in the news again?  What’s up with that?” Does Mike Lindell have the day off or something?  Hell, I could have sworn Robertson was already dead, but apparently - he was only “brain dead.”  So, they brought old Pat out of retirement to tell us this?  It must be because he’s always been so fucking “spot-on accurate” with all his other predictions. That said, I have to say old Pat seems to be a bit off his game on this one.  I mean, usually,