Skip to main content

Trump Suing Hillary and Her Cohorts Over the 2016 Election He Won


Former President Donald Trump has filed a lawsuit against former secretary of state Hillary Clinton, the Democratic National Committee, and others, alleging that they “maliciously conspired to weave a false narrative” that his campaign colluded with Russia during the 2016 presidential race.

Wow!  Perhaps someone ought to remind Mr. Trump that he actually won that election, albeit via the Electoral College.  I mean, Trump can’t seriously want to take this to court, can he?  Why, “discovery” would absolutely destroy him.  Not to mention, he’d also have to give a deposition.  After all, he’s the friggin’ plaintiff in this case.  Perhaps his attorneys should explain to him what the term “perjury” means.  Of course, swearing him in would need to be phrased a bit differently for him.  Sort of like “Have you ever told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?  And, if you haven’t, then why the hell not?” 


Frankly, it makes you wonder who would even want to take a case of his?  I mean, even that “crack” team of lawyers over at the “Acme Law Firm,” two doors down from the “Four Seasons Total Landscaping,” would be hesitant to take a case like this, especially after they discover that if they get paid at all, it’ll likely be in rubles.  I mean, rubles are worth even less than a Trump promise these days.  Oh well!  I suppose anything is better than that lawyer he had before.  You know, the one who had what appeared to be an oil well, leaking raw crude oil right down the side of his face.


So, why sue Hillary after all this time and open up such a huge can of worms?  Well, my guess is Trump's fundraising must have hit a new low, while his Russian creditors are still reeling from all the sanctions and a plummeting ruble, and are probably calling in that $400+ million he owes them because they’re getting desperate.  Besides, Putin needs money for his war, and it’s damn-well time #45 pays up.  I guess all these factors coming together, make it a perfect time to refocus on Hillary, the “She-Demon of 2016.”

  

Of course, as we all know, Trump sues just about everybody.  What’s next?  Sue McDonald's for making you morbidly obese?  Why, whatever happened to tort reform and the “Republican Party’s war on frivolous lawsuits?”  Guess that all went right out the window.  That said, Trump better be damn careful what he wishes for, or next thing you know, Obama will countersue the shit out of him over that birth certificate slander Trump conjured up.  Meanwhile, did I just hear Hillary tell the judge “Your Honor, I’d like to call Vladimir Putin to the stand please.”


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...
Post a Comment
Read more

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List:  The Mary River turtle of Queensland, Australia, which breaths through its genitals and sports a punky green Mohican hairdo, has been placed on a new list of the most vulnerable reptile species on the planet.  Now, of course, we’ve all known people who talk out of their ass, but come on - breathing through your genitals is quite a feat.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Flat Earth Believers Tend to Be Young:  A new survey found that 34 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds entertain some doubts about whether the Earth is actually round.  Good grief, sounds like we flat out need to see that these millennials get a more well-rounded education.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Huge-Nosed Dinosaur Found in Utah:  Paleontologists have discovered a new dinosaur which had a humongous nose that lived 76-million years ago in what is now Utah.  Ironically, if ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence:   After declaring Roger Stone a victim of the “Russia hoax” perpetuated by the Left and its allies in the media, President Trump has commuted the three-year prison criminal sentence for the Republican operative and dirty trickster, who was due to report to federal prison on Tuesday after being found guilty of obstruction, witness tampering and lying to Congress. Good grief, is it my imagination, or has Trump actually just pardoned the real-life version of the Monopoly guy?  I mean, Stone is a villain right out of Charles Dickens.  Why, this is an act so corrupt, it’s almost enough to make Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin blush. Now, I’m no legal expert, but it appears what the Trump Administration is basically arguing is that - someone shouldn’t be punished for committing a crime which “they really should’ve gotten away with.”  And while that may sound a bit odd to the rest of us, that kind of thinking makes go...
Post a Comment
Read more