You've Got to Be Kidding?

Kim Kardashian Can’t Wait to Be "Enlightened" With Fourth Child:   Kim Kardashian recently told Jimmy Fallon that while her house is really full, her fourth child will be a game changer because she’s heard that “parents of four are the most enlightened and calm of all parents.” Now I hate to disagree, but I’m not quite convinced parents gain “enlightenment” simply by having more kids - otherwise, wouldn’t trailer parks be considered “beacons of enlightenment?”  Also, I have a feeling that being a Kardashian, her quest for “enlightenment” might take a bit longer than most. And gee, I don’t know if it's just me - but she sure doesn’t look pregnant.  Why if someone didn’t know better, they might assume that she simply paid someone to have her child.  Ah, who can blame her?  After all, you don’t wanna risk childbirth ruining your hot figure.  Besides, we all know it’s the thought that counts and besides - it’s a well-known fact that kids look really ...

Vintage German Plane Crashes Onto California Freeway:  Fortunately, no one was injured as a vintage German aircraft with markings of Germany’s Luftwaffe, crashed onto the 101 Freeway in the Los Angeles area and burst into flames.  Now I’m certainly so aviation expert, but I do know this - if there was a beagle at the controls of the other plane, then Snoopy wins again! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Taller People at Greater Risk of Cancer:   New research has suggests taller people have a significantly greater risk of cancer because they are bigger and so have more cells in their bodies in which dangerous cancerous mutations can occur.  Well, I guess that’s basically the long and the short of it.  Meanwhile, health officials have begun urging taller people to walk hunched-over with the hope cancer cells won’t realize how tall you actually are. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Shallow Waters Allowed Early Creatures to Experiment Wit...

Barnes & Noble Stock Soars as It Explores a Sale:   Barnes & Noble stock jumped more than 20% after the board said it would consider a sale of the troubled company, which analysts described as a place that’s “too tired, too large and too cluttered - and failing to offer consumers any compelling reason to visit the store.”  What the hell do they mean “no compelling reason for people to visit?”  While I’ve never bought anything there, I’ve enjoyed using their restrooms for over 20 years now.  I highly recommend their restrooms to all my friends when they’re out and about and feel the need to go.  https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Kanye Gave Kim $1 million to Turn Down Fashion Post for Yeezy Rival:   Kim Kardashian was the inaugural guest on the Ashley Graham podcast and told a story about how a rival to Kanye’s Yeezy brand offered her a lot of money to post one of their ads, which prompted Kayne to give her a million dollar check to turn...

Kanye West Surprises Kim Kardashian with New Neon Mercedes:   Social media is all abuzz after Kim Kardashian West proudly posted pictures on Instagram of her new neon green Mercedes G series SUW that husband Kanye West bought her - a vehicle she says couldn’t stop talking about since they rented the truck while in Miami.   And folks, its important to remember that many touching moments such as these may not have been possible had our President not worked so diligently to make sure his wealthy friends get to pay less taxes.  Now, of course - some may ask, “fine, you got yourself another new, super-expense car, but why flaunt it all over the internet?”  Why I bought a Mini Cooper a couple of years ago - and I don’t believe anyone really gave much of a crap - one way or the other.    But what most people don’t understand is how important it is for these folks to raise public awareness that they are capable of snagging themselves very expensive luxu...