You've Got to Be Kidding?

Attacks by Urban Coyotes Have Been Increasing:   As more and more humans settle into their usual habitats, coyotes have begun taking up residence in America’s unban areas, causing residents to express concerns about the safety of pets and even small children. No kidding?  Why, I could have sworn “Urban Coyote” was the name of an old John Travolta movie.  But putting all that aside, I saw a couple of really HUGE coyotes over the Holidays right in my neighborhood, so I assume they must be eating well and enjoying all that our LA cuisine has to offer.   In fact, they may be enjoying LA food a bit too much if you ask me.  Mark my words, if this keeps up, you’ll start seeing specialty diet centers like “Coyote Atkins" or “ Jenny Craig-Canine ,” springing up all the place in over LA.   Hell, they’re getting so comfortable here, pretty soon they’ll be calling Uber to explore different neighborhoods.  I mean, why walk?  Let’s not forget “W...

Trump Invites Military Dog Injured in al-Baghdadi Raid to White House:   President Trump is tweeting that the military working dog named Conan, who was injured in the raid that killed ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, will leave the Middle East next week for a visit to the White House. Its being reported that the dog initially declined the invitation, but was finally persuaded to come after Trump promised him treats during their phone conversation - which the President later described as a “perfect conversation,” and vehemently denying accusations of any quid pro quo with the dog.   Sources close to the dog say Conan made it clear to the President that he expected nothing short of first class doggie treats and not a bunch of crappy, cold cheeseburgers, like the president passed out to Clemson’s football team during their White House visit this past January.  One things for sure, had the dog actually declined the White House invitation, you can bet Trump w...

PETA Launches Campaign to End Anti-Animal Language:   The animal's rights group is being heavily criticized for comparing "anti-animal" idioms to racism, homophobia, and other discriminatory language.  And don’t I know it!  I mean, my cat’s reported me to PETA numerous times for using anti-animal language around the house with such cruel, hateful phrases like “it’s time for your bath,” or “now get down off the kitchen drainboard,” and of course, perhaps the most heinous phrase of them all - “now get in your carrier, we’re going to see the vet.”  https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Finnish Scientists Develop First-Ever Vaccine for Dying Bees:   Scientists in Finland say they may have a way to save the dying bee population, as they have just developed an edible vaccine for the prominent and deadly bacterial disease “ American Foulbrood ," which spreads very rapidly and destroys entire honeybee populations.  Researchers say that now they’ve finishe...