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Showing posts from February, 2022

Marjorie Taylor Green Denies Knowing She Spoke at a White Supremacist Conference

Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga) is claiming she didn’t know anything about Holocaust denier, White Supremacist, and neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes prior to speaking at his extremist, right-wing “ America First Political Action Conference ” in Orlando this past week.   An event that opened with Fuentes promising a “tidal wave of white identity,” where Vladimir Putin was openly celebrated, and Adolf Hitler was frequently praised. Now, I’ve certainly made plenty of mistakes in my life, but I've never accidentally spoken at a Nazi rally.  Not to be critical, but methinks the White lady speaks with forked tongue and cloven hoof.  Gee, odd that she didn’t become a little suspicious with all the swastikas, antisemitic and xenophobic pamphlets everywhere, and participants shouting “Putin, Putin, Putin” at the top of their lungs as she entered the room.   Anyway, if I understand all this correctly, it appears Marjorie Taylor Green expects us to believe she’ll agree to speak at any gat

Trump Holds Press Conference to Claim He Alone Can Quickly End Ukrainian Crisis

During a news conference before his speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), former President Donald Trump was asked, "If you were president right now, and the situation is what it is right now, what should Joe Biden do?”  Trump responded by saying "Well I think I know exactly what should be done," but then refused to say what that was, other than claiming “I think it would end it pretty quickly." Wow!  “Attention shoppers!  We have a huge word salad spill, over on aisle four.”  Gee whiz, it sounds like Mr. Trump is back on his game -  a totally psychotic game, but a game all the same.  Of course, we already know what his plan is.  No need for him to say it out loud.  There is even a name for his plan, it’s called “No Fucking Idea.”    I mean, come on!  At least Marjorie Taylor Greene can articulate her plan.  “First, zap them with a ‘Jewish Space Laser’ - then, send in the ‘Gazpacho,’ to clean up whatever resistance might still remain.”  N

Defiant Capitol Rioter Says He’s ‘Willing to Die’ in Pre-Trial Statement

MAGA Capitol rioter and Three Percenters militia member Guy Reffitt, who became infamous for threatening to shoot his own children if they became “traitors” and turned him in, issued a defiant jailhouse statement just prior to his first court appearance next week - stating that he is fully prepared to take a bullet in the battle to save America against Hillary and Biden’s “New World Order.” Gee, this Reffitt fellow sure seems like a really nice guy who has definitely learned his lesson.  Anyway, Reffitt claims in his statement that “I am prepared to stare down the barrel of tyranny, to receive the bullet of freedom.”  Now, I don’t know anything about all that, but I do know this is a guy who really needs to work on his metaphors.  Speaking of which, I wonder if he’d prefer that that bullet he’s willing to take - be hallow?  You know, just like his head?  Here’s hoping he decides to represent himself in court. That said, we get it.  Reffitt is basically boasting to his fellow milit

Trump’s Truth Social App Launches with Massive Glitches and Error Messages

The Daily Beast reports that “Truth Social,” the Trump-created Twitter alternative with suspicious financing and run by former congressman and Trump sycophant Devin Nunes, went live in Apple’s App Store on Sunday night, and users immediately ran into massive glitches and error messages.   In response, Trump Media & Technology Group CEO Nunes promised to try and have all of the problems with the service fixed by late March. Gee whiz, you mean a Trump venture might actually end up a huge flop?   Say it isn’t so?   Here’s a thought, how about testing the app before you launch it?   Of course, I realize that approach doesn’t fit in well with the Trump playbook.   Besides, I’m sure the platform doesn’t’ have any bugs that a good dose of ivermectin wouldn’t knock right out.   And, even if it does fail, no big deal!   Hell, Trump can always blame everything on Hillary, Hunter Biden, or Letitia James. Anyway, word has it the site will employ lots of artificial intelligence, and believe

Marjorie Taylor Greene Goes on Alex Jones to Complain ‘People Think I’m Crazy’

Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) appeared on Alex Jones's InfoWars program to complain that “people treat her like she’s a “crazy person,” and “it just bothers me so much.”   She said it’s as if she has "three horns" coming out of her head.   Greene then told Jones that it’s not her, but actually “everyone else who is crazy.” Now, wait a minute!  Did I just see a crazy person, go on another crazy person's show, to complain about being called “a crazy person?”  Good grief, I can’t even do the math.  That said, I do get what she’s doing.  I mean, who the hell wouldn’t wanna go on Alex Jones's show if you needed to prove your sanity?  As for people thinking she has "three horns" coming out of her head - well, we can only wish that was all that ever comes out of that head of hers. That said, as one might have guessed, Alex Jones came right to her rescue, just like clockwork - reassuring Greene that it’s all completely ridiculous, and that she’s every bit as

Cargo Ship Loaded With Thousands of Porsches and Bentleys on Fire and Adrift at Sea

A mammoth cargo ship believed to be carrying thousands of Porsches and Bentleys, is on fire and drifting off the coast of the Azores after its 22 crew members had to be rescued from the vessel.   Dealers say should the cars become a total loss, it may take another six months for these “special order” vehicles to be delivered to their wealthy patrons. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that as soon as I heard that a ship had thousands of cars on fire, I immediately thought “oh, they must be transporting Chevy Bolts.”  Sadly, these are Porsches and Bentleys folks.  Why, this is truly a tragedy of first-world proportions!  Talk about “The Bonfire of the Vanities.”  One thing’s for sure, if this ship eventually sinks, the wealthy are definitely gonna need another round of government bailouts.  After all, let us not forget - “Luxury Cars Matter!”  That said, I get it.  Why, it’s enough to make some highfalutin “Captain of Industry” cry right into their Hotel Casa del Ma r morning “Dom Péri

Exciting New Technology Allows Highway in Wales to Get Paved With Recycled Diapers

In what might be a world-first, more than 100,000 dirty, disposable diapers are being used to help pave a road in west Wales.   This is a pilot project with intriguing environmental implications, because a proliferation of “diaper highways” could significantly help to reduce the problem of the mountains of disposables thrown away every year that end up as waste in landfills. So, they’re now paving roads with used diapers?  Well, I guess they don’t call it the “Ass-phalt Industry” for nothing.  Anyway, nice to hear they’re finally going green - or shall I say brown?  And, according to “Big Asphalt,” the road to hell is apparently paved with “recycled diapers.”  However, when asked if they thought the project will be a success, they would only say “that Depends.”  Now, currently - the technology is only being tested in Wales, but the hope is this innovation will eventually spread to other incontinents.    Of course, it goes without saying workers are gonna have to deal with a lot of

Prince Andrew Settles Sexual Abuse Lawsuit With Virginia Giuffre

According to a new court filing in Manhattan, Prince Andrew, the disgraced second son of Queen Elizabeth II, has settled a lawsuit brought by Virginia Giuffre, a woman who maintained that she was trafficked to him by financier Jeffrey Epstein when she was only seventeen.  The amount Andrew will pay Ms. Giuffre is confidential, but British newspaper “The Telegraph” reports the settlement as 12 million pounds (approx. 16.5 million dollars), and that the Queen will assist Andrew with the payment, though his involvement in this sordid tale has cost him his public role as a working member of the Royal family.   Shortly after the settlement, Andrew released a statement acknowledging the victim’s suffering, but did not admit any wrongdoing. Of course, since being stripped of his title and Royal duties after his relationship with sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein came to light, Andrew may now no longer actually use the title “Prince Andrew.”  He’s now simply the “Duke of York,” although perhaps

KY Congressman Claims Violent Overthrow of US Govt OK if 30-40% Approve

In a video posted to Twitter by Right Wing Watch , U.S. Congressman Thomas Massie (R-KY) appeared on far-right extremist Tim Pool’s YouTube channel, to declare Americans need to own a "sufficient" amount of weaponry to overthrow the government.   Rep. Massie added that once "30 to 40 percent agree" the nation is living under “tyranny,” then a violent overthrow of the US Government becomes necessary.   In response, host Tim Pool, who has YouTube’s largest “current affairs channel” with daily viewers in the millions, told Rep. Massie he believes the 2nd Amendment protects the individual’s right to own nuclear and biological weapons. No kidding?  I guess that means once Republicans are back in power, rather than every household getting some cheap, COVID-19 home test kit like Democrats are passing out, they’ll instead apparently be receiving a free “hydrogen bomb.”  Of course, it’s a little late to be considered a Christmas gift, but it’s still an awfully nice gesture

Nevada County Renames Its Justice Complex After Donald Trump

The Associated Press reports that about 50 people in Yerington, Nevada, attended a ceremony to rename the Lyon County courthouse the "Donald J. Trump Justice Complex.” No kidding?  They’re actually renaming a courthouse after Donald Trump?  Interesting choice, especially considering nearly every single day, we learn of yet another new law he's broken - but they’re still putting his name on the “Lyon County Courthouse?”  That has to be a typo.  I mean, shouldn’t that actually read “they’re putting Trump’s name on the Lyin ’ County Courthouse?” Why, next thing you know, they’ll be naming the FBI headquarters after J. Edgar Hoover - oh, wait!  Regardless, it’s obvious the world’s going crazy!  Hell, if things get any whackier, we’ll soon be reading about how Robert Kennedy Jr. just got vaccinated for COVID!  I mean, just think about it.  When they put Trump’s name on it, the facility is likely to become more like an “Oedipus Complex,” than a "Justice Complex.” Gee, wo

Ohio Republican Mayor Warns Ice Fishing Leads to Prostitution

Republican Mayor Craig Shubert of Hudson, Ohio, who last fall started a huge controversy by demanding every school board member in his city resign, or be criminally charged with disseminating child pornography after high school students taking a class for college credit, which included exercises encouraging students to write stories or essays they would not share with their parents - was interpreted by Mayor Shubert as promoting “child pornography.”   Now, this week during a Hudson city council meeting, Mayor Shubert took a strong stance against ice fishing in a local park, pointing out that “If you open this up to ice fishing, while on the surface it sounds good, then what happens next year?   Does someone come back and say, ‘I want an ice shanty for X-amount of time?” he asked referring to the use of portable shelters for ice fishing.   He then added “And, if you then allow ice fishing with shanties, then that leads to another problem — prostitution,” he continued. “And now you’ve go

‘Don’t Say Gay’ Bill Passes Florida State Senate

Axios reports the Florida State Senate has just advanced a bill being referred to as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, which allows parents to sue teachers for not telling parents about any teaching decisions that could “critically affect a student's mental, emotional or physical health, or wellbeing.”   The bill prohibits teachers from explaining to kids younger than ten “what homosexuality is,” but as written - could also include things such as “the trauma of receiving a vegetarian lunch” that the child didn't ask for. Gee, I guess in these folk’s minds, if you don't discuss homosexuality - then it simply doesn't exist.  Just like if you don’t take a COVID or a pregnancy test, then you can’t possibly be either COVID positive or pregnant.  Remember, it was none other than Donald Trump who once told staffers to stop the testing for COVID, and we’ll have far fewer cases to report.  That kind of logic’s pretty darn hard to argue with. Anyway, I’m certainly no legal eagle, b

Ted Cruz Wants Truckers to ‘Starve-Out’ People in Vancouver With Empty Shelves

Former Canadian citizen, and current US senator Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), agitated in favor of protesting Canadian QAnon truckers, suggesting the truckers ought to leave the people of Vancouver “without food,” as punishment for the government's Covid-19 vaccine mandates.   The dispute began when Vancouver Mayor Kennedy Stewart tweeted out to truckers that “95% of Vancouver is vaccinated,” and that “Vancouver doesn’t want you here.   Make your point and then go home."   In response, Cruz then tweeted out the threat that folks in Vancouver “might feel differently with empty shelves.” Gee, Ted Cruz is actually wishing empty shelves on folks in Vancouver?  Possibly causing many to go hungry, just so these “Trucker Tantrum reactionaries” can "own the libs?”  Those seem like pretty strong words Ted, especially - coming from a guy who looks like he hasn’t missed a meal in a helluva long time.  Of course, we know old Ted would never allow himself to go hungry.  Why, he’d flee the co

Republicans Censure Liz Cheney and Label Jan 6 Insurrection ‘Legitimate Political Discourse’

The Republican National Committee voted Friday to condemn Reps. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo.) and Adam Kinzinger (R-Ill.), for serving on the House committee investigating the Jan. 6, 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol by a pro-Trump mob, claiming their behavior “has been destructive to the institution of the U.S. House of Representatives, the Republican Party and our republic,”  The resolution accused Cheney and Kinzinger of participating in a “Democrat-led persecution of ordinary citizens who engaged in legitimate political discourse .” Gee whiz, now what I don’t get is, if the Jan 6th insurrection was only about "legitimate political discourse," one wonders why did Republican lawmakers hightail it the hell out of there like roaches after someone turns the light on, instead of sticking around in the House chamber, to "discuss" the issues with the nice folks who’d come for some of that “legitimate political discourse?” But, I get what Republicans are saying.  Why, it’s no di

Punxsutawney Phil Proclaims Six More Weeks of Winter

Pennsylvania’s most famous groundhog “Punxsutawney Phil,” made his appearance this past Wednesday at sunrise for the 136th time, much to the delight of thousands of fans gathered at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pa.   This was the largest gathering ever, according to the Inner Circle of Punxsutawney Groundhog Club.   Tradition has it that if Phil sees his shadow, we’re in store for six more weeks of winter, and sure enough - Phil saw his shadow. Interesting!  Gee, wonder what the weather prediction would be - if Phil “bites” his handlers?  Now, some of you may dismiss Phil’s meteorological career as complete nonsense simply because he’s a groundhog, but the way I look at it - Phil’s got over 136 years of experience, and that’s one helluva lot more than any of those wacko weather half-wits you see on local TV.  And, I’m not the only one singing Phil’s praises.  Word has it Joe Rogan has just booked Phil on his podcast, to get Phil’s take on the COVID pandemic. Of course, Punxsutawn

Ohio Doctor Claims Vaccines Are a Plot To Turn Us Into Rabid Transhumanoids

Ohio osteopathic doctor Sherri Tenpenny, who Republicans called as an “expert witness” in a June 2021 hearing of the Ohio House Health Committee where she promoted a false claim about COVID-19 vaccines causing people to become magnetized so metal objects will stick to their bodies, is now claiming “COVID vaccines are made up of nanoparticles , which turn people into a ‘rabid transhumanist cyborgs,’ manipulated externally by 5G and magnets through quantum entanglement.”   Sadly, shortly after Dr. Tenpenny’s appearance before the Ohio House, she was forced to retain legal counsel because the Health Committee became alarmed and warned Ohio’s medical board that she was in need of “psychiatric evaluation.”  A psychiatric evaluation?  Gee, I wonder why?  Seems people just don’t get what folks like Dr. Tenpenny are going through.  Oh, the horrors!   As if all the battles Dr. Tenpenny and her MAGA pals fought over “transexuals” using public bathrooms wasn’t enough, now these poor folks g