You've Got to Be Kidding?

AG Jeff Sessions Laughs & Repeats Chants of Lock Her Up:   US Attorney General Jeff Sessions repeated students’ chants of “lock her up!” at a conservative political summit, laughing at the call to jail Donald Trump’s former election opponent Hillary Clinton.  Behavior like this by the nation’s chief law enforcement officer would normally be cause for concern that we’re in danger of becoming a banana republic, but fortunately - Trump’s import tariffs on bananas have already made that proposition way too expensive. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com   Another New Theory About Amelia Earhart Surfaces:  As usually happens about every six months, a new theory about what “really” happened to Amelia Earhart surfaces - this one claiming she and her seriously injured navigator Fred Noonan as well as her Lockheed Electra were marooned in knee-deep water on a reef off Gardner Island in the Pacific.  Well, all I can say is, let’s hope they find he...

Roseanne Barr Claims Voting for Trump Got Her Fired:   After initially blaming the drug Ambien, then various other people and entities, Roseanne Barr now is claiming that she was fired from her hit TV show simply because she voted for Donald Trump.  Interesting claim, given that she got her show AFTER Trump was elected and much of the storyline was about her BEING a Trump supporter.  Now if my calculations are correct, about the only ones she hasn’t blamed so far are the “lizard people.” https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Democrats Less Likely to Cheat on Spouses than Republicans:   According to researchers who matched voter records to 80,000 accounts hacked from adultery website Ashley Madison, Democrats used the website substantially less than other US voters.  In response, an angry Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich, Larry Craig, Roy Moore, Mark Sanford and Arnold Schwarzenegger held a news conference to denounce the study as nothing but more “fake news...

Bananas Facing Extinction Risk from Tropical Disease:   Scientists are racing to save the banana from a tropical fungus known as the “Panama Disease,” that is threatening banana crops throughout the world.   Now I’m no biologist, but I never would have dreamed that it would be a fungus that would wipe out the world’s banana crops.  I would have assumed it would be something more obvious - like “yellow fever.”  Meanwhile, religious leaders are asking people to say a prayer for the bananas this sundae.     And forget all the nutritional concerns, think about what’s gonna happen to the world’s banana republics - if they can no longer get their hands on any bananas?  Let’s get real folks, what puppet dictator is gonna want to turn his country into a mango and pineapple republic?  I mean - why bother?  It wouldn’t have any appeal. http://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com