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Showing posts from September, 2021

Tucker Carlson Blames Overwhelmed Hospitals on Immigrants - Not COVID Patients

As reports continue to come in about hospitals across the country being overrun with unvaccinated COVID patients, Tucker Carlson took to the airwaves to “inform” his audience that it isn’t the unvaccinated who are plugging up our nation’s hospitals, but actually all the immigrants President Biden is letting into the country.   Immigrants, whom Tucker claims, are promised free healthcare - from the moment they arrive. Now, some of you may ask, where the hell is the FCC when folks like Tucker are allowed to spew these unfounded, vicious lies that are being sent out to tens of millions of people?  Well, the answer is, they’re quite busy.  That’s right.  They’re busy policing.  Making sure no errant nipples are showing up on your TV screen, or some random "curse word” that didn’t get bleeped, gets sent out into the airwaves for the general public to hear.   Of course, there are still lots of regular folks who are not part of the Fox News or Trump cult, who are not all that please

Unvaxxed TikTokers Insist on Being Called ‘Purebloods

According to various reports, the newest trend among anti-vaxxers on TikTok and other social media is to refuse to be referred to as “unvaccinated,” and demand everyone instead call them “Purebloods.”   As a point of reference, the term “Purebloods” was popularized in the Harry Potter universe, where the forces of proto-fascist evil identified themselves as “Purebloods,” which was meant as a reference to the Nazi preoccupation with genetic bloodlines and “pure Aryan blood. Well, gee whiz, as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, the simple truth is - if you went to public schools as a child, then you’ve definitely been vaccinated before.  Therefore, by your own definition, you folks can’t really be classified as “Purebloods,” only "pure idiots.” Of course, in their own way, these folks are kind of “Purebloods” - given that they’re “pure hate, pure evil, pure ignorance, pure fascist, pure racist, and pure bullshit.”  Wonder if these “pure morons” actually realize these

Trump Livid as Arizona GOP ‘Audit’ Renders Even Bigger Win for Biden

Even after the $6 million Republican-led Arizona state Senate "forensic audit" determined he was soundly beaten by Joe Biden, and by even more votes than originally counted, Donald Trump continues to tell his supporters that “the audit has uncovered significant and undeniable evidence of FRAUD!”   In addition, he’s calling news outlets reporting his latest defeat as “more fake news,” and repeating his old claim that the 2020 election was “stolen from him.”   Gee whiz, this sure smells of desperate denial!  My, my, reminds me of how much “I love the smell of desperation in the morning!”  Now, some of you may argue that Trump and his supporters “simply can’t really handle the truth.”  Well, the truth is, Trump has not only “handled” the truth, he frequently molests it! So, even after the “audit” proved Trump lost, he continues to tell his base it’s all “fake news” and that “the election was stolen.”  Really?  Because as far and I can tell, it appears about the only thing

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.”  Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know.  After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu.  Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy theory parade, bu

Tucker Carlson Claims Biden Using Vaccine Mandate to Push ‘Real Men’ Out of Military

Fox News host Tucker Carlson told viewers that the real reason for the Biden Administration’s mandatory vaccination requirements for the military is to "identify the sincere Christians in the ranks, the free thinkers, the men with high testosterone levels, and anyone else who does not love Joe Biden - and make them leave immediately.”   Adding that “It’s a takeover of the US Military.” Well, I’ll tell you what, we’re all pretty fortunate to get Tucker’s take on this issue, because as any competent military analyst will tell you, there’s really no one who fully understands the workings of our military, quite like someone who’s never served a day in their life.  I believe the promo for his show was “Wimp Explains Masculinity at 8:00 Tonight.” Now, I realize this may come as kind of a shock to poor Tucker, given that pudgy little “trust fund babies” like him rarely ever serve, but nearly all military recruits have been hit with a bevy of vaccinations almost immediately after they

Eric Trump Whines on Fox News About Subpoena after Subpoena after Subpoena

During an interview on Fox News with host Maria Bartiromo, Eric Trump whined and complained that every single day, the Trump Organization and the Trump family are being forced to respond to “subpoena after subpoena after subpoena.” Eric explained that ever since his father announced he was running back in 2015, “they” have “weaponized the entire system in this country,” adding that “they've weaponized the DOJ, they weaponized the educational system, they've weaponized the medical system, and they’ve weaponized our military.”  What?  They’ve “weaponized” our military?  You mean our military has weapons?  Who knew?  Those bastards!  Of course, I’m sure many of you will sarcastically ask, who else but sleazy old “ Fox News ” would give voice to such a whining, self-centered, poster child of affluenza such as Eric Trump?  Well, the short answer to that appears to be - Breitbart, Newsmax, One America News Network (OANN), and nearly all of talk radio, just to name just a few.  

SD Gov. Demands Politicians Actions ‘Line Up’ with the Word of God

During an appearance on Christian Nationalist David Brody’s “ Real America’s Voice Network ,” South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem demanded that the actions of politicians need to “line up with the word of God.”   She also bragged about the many ways in which she has injected things like “God and prayer” into her state’s public schools, while at the same time forbidding COVID mask mandates, adding that “we in South Dakota have decided to take action to really stand for biblical principles.”   So, let me get this straight, Gov. Noem won't let school children wear masks to protect themselves from COVID, because that’s government intrusion, but she plans to enact legislation forcing kids to pray in public?  Now, while I don’t agree with her, I get where she’s coming from.  I’m sure she feels - it’s the “Reich” thing to do. Gee, wonder if anyone mentioned to her that forcing everyone to be governed by “Biblical principles,” would also mean enforcing things like Biblical prohibitions agai

Mike Lindell Tells Jim Bakker He’s Number One on a White House Kill List

Salon reports that during a three-day virtual sales pitch for his bedding, cleverly disguised as an election fraud research fundraiser, conspiracy theorist and MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell told disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker that he has learned he’s now “number one” on a secret Biden Administration’s White House “kill list.” Really Mike?  You’ve actually seen Biden’s “kill list?”  I hate to sound skeptical, but it seems rather stupid to let your future victims - see your “kill list.”  Not to mention, why on earth would any Democrat ever want to kill someone who’s been working so very hard this past year - to make the entire Republican Party look like a bunch of fools? Anyway, so now we have Mike Lindell hawking pillows with fellow con artist and televangelist Jim Bakker?  I assume Lindell decided to switch to Bakker’s religious programming, to prove to everyone that he’s  "a Man of Fraud.”  Makes you wonder though - just how this man can actually sleep at night?  And, then

Anti-Vax, Anti-Yoga Republican Plans Primary Bid Against Alabama Gov. Ivey

Former gubernatorial candidate and businessman Tim James is considering waging an intra-party campaign against Alabama Republican Gov. Kay Ivey, who infuriated the GOP’s anti-vax base recently when she said it was "time to start blaming the unvaccinated folks" for the resurgent pandemic.   James then went on to declare war on the "beast with three heads," which he defined as “critical race theory, transgender rights, and yoga in public schools.” Well, go ahead and laugh if you want, but all I can say is - thank goodness we have men like Tim James around, who have the courage to speak up and take on “Big Yoga.”  Frankly, it takes real guts to tell these commie yoga hippies to “Namaste” the hell out of Alabama. But, it doesn’t stop there my friends.  Why, this “patriot” also plans to eliminate the threat “yogurt” poses to the community.  You see, James is the type of guy who doesn’t wanna know that the “fruit is on the bottom.”  That’s because guys like him don’

Tucker Carlson Wants to Contact Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend About His Swollen Balls

After Nicki Minaj announced she hasn’t gotten the COVID vaccine because her cousin’s friend in Trinidad’s testicles became so swollen - that his fiancé left him.   Now, after hearing that story, Fox News host and anti-vaccine crusader Tucker Carlson, tried to make contact with Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend during his show by announcing “We haven’t been able to figure out if this show is broadcast in Trinidad, but if Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend is watching, or his former fiancé is watching, we want to hear your story.  We’ll come to the Port of Spain to see you.” Oh, I get where Tucker’s coming from.  Why, this swollen testicle story could mean really huge ratings for Tucker - just as long as those testicles remain “fair and balanced.”  That said, I’m not so sure having a guy display his swollen testicles on cable TV is such a good idea.  I mean, that sounds like a pretty good way to send many of Tucker’s geriatric audience - directly into full cardiac arrest. Besides, I’m fully

Trump Gave Keynote Speech to a Moonie Cult Conference on 9-11 Anniversary

Rather than participate like other presidents in ceremonies around the 20th anniversary of the 9-11 terrorist attacks, former President Donald Trump instead chose to give the keynote speech at a “Unification Church” conference (aka the Moonie cult), heaping praise on Hak Ja Han Moon, widow of Reverend Sun Myung Moon - the cult’s founder.   The “Moonie cult” is known for its extreme right-wing politics, appreciation of AR-15 assault rifles, ownership of the conservative Washington Times newspaper, and its mass weddings of thousands of couples - all selected and paired together by the Unification Church. Good grief!  Forgive me for getting so emotional, but it kind of warms the heart to witness two very prominent cult leaders, praising each other like this.  Why, the Moonies even sent a whole contingent of folks to President Trump’s Jan 6th insurrection and coup attempt at the US Capitol earlier this year.  Talk about “feeling the love!” And, to be completely honest, you have to g

Alaska Anti-Mask State Senator Banned by Airline Can’t Get Back to Capitol

The Anchorage Daily News reports that anti-mask Alaska State Senator and Oral Roberts University graduate Lora Reinbold (R), is complaining about not being able to make it from her home to legislative sessions in Juneau, unless she drives for two days through Canada, because American Airlines banned her for repeatedly harassing boarding staff and flight attendants over mask requirements.   That said, Sen. Reinbold claims she was really banned for political reasons and is demanding she be paid her state senator salary, even if she doesn’t show up for work. Gee, getting paid for not working?  I thought that’s what Republicans call socialism?  All kidding aside, I realize these are some serious allegations Sen. Reinbold is making!  Go ahead and laugh, but the way I see it - getting banned from flying during a COVID pandemic is nothing to scoff at, or was that “cough at?”  Or, how about, “sneeze at?”  Anyway, one of those.  Besides, even if voters decided to send her packing, how’s she

Evangelist Franklin Graham Trashes Lazy American Workers Over Labor Day

MAGA right-wing evangelist Franklin Graham spent his Labor Day weekend trashing those “lazy American workers” who refuse to work shitty jobs, that pay starvation wages, with miserable working conditions - telling followers how “its troubling to witness the disregard we see for hard work.” Well, talk like that certainly holds a lot of weight.  Especially, coming from a guy who’s likely never put in a real day’s work in his entire life.  Now, in his defense, he probably has no idea what the hell “Labor Day” is even about.  Perhaps someone ought to mention to him that Labor Day wasn’t really conceived to be “a celebration of corporate America.” Of course, guys like Franklin Graham will always be quick to recite that classic, old Republican fable - about how the wealthy got rich through “good, hard work.”  And, while there may actually be a grain of truth in that, the real question we should be asking is - “yes, but through who’s hard work?” Now, before we conclude he’s just being

Ohio Judge Reverses Previous Order Forcing Hospital to Treat COVID Patient with Ivermectin

An Ohio judge has just reversed an order issued two weeks ago by a different judge, which forced a hospital to administer the livestock dewormer “ivermectin” to a patient admitted with coronavirus - at the demand of his spouse.   His wife obtained the ivermectin prescription from Dr. Fred Wagshul, a Dayton doctor who has developed a huge online following for prescribing ivermectin to coronavirus patients. Interestingly enough, the patient given the ivermectin has not been able to shake his COVID, however, he reportedly won the 3rd race over at Northfield Park yesterday afternoon.  Now, folks can say what they want about ivermectin, but to my knowledge, not a single COVID patient who’s taken the medication - has ever gotten worms.   Unfortunately, one nasty side effect of taking ivermectin is that it causes severe diarrhea along with an inability to control bowel movements.  So, those taking it need to be warned that they’re gonna need to be buying one helluva lot of new underwear.

Florida GOP Rep. Brian Mast Demands Biden be Removed for Treason and Schizophrenia

During an interview on Fox News, Rep. Brian Mast (R-FL) told host Jason Chaffetz that Joe Biden deserved to be punished for his actions during the U.S. military's withdrawal from Afghanistan, demanding Biden be immediately removed from office for “treason and schizophrenia.” Wow, apparently calling President Biden "Sleepy Joe,” just doesn’t seem strong enough for the Congressman.  And then, claiming Biden should be removed from office for “treason and schizophrenia?”  Why, that’s basically like accusing Biden of “governing like a Republican.”  What a horrible accusation to make against someone!  I’ll tell ya what, this Rep. Brian Mast appears to answer that age-old question of “what do you get when you put a white supremacist and skinhead - in a three-piece suit?”  Either that, or one of the “Coneheads” has somehow managed to get themselves elected to Congress.  Now, I was gonna refer to Mast as an “attack dog,” but a “yelping chihuahua” actually seems a bit more accura

Trump Rants at Ungrateful Catholics and Jews Over Lack of Support

According to a report from the Religion News Service , the launch of Donald Trump's new “National Faith Advisory Board” got off to a rocky start, as former president Donald Trump began by complaining about Catholics and Jews who didn’t vote for him in the 2020 election, despite “all I did for their communities.”   Trump added that “I did a lot for the Catholics,” and “Israel has never had a better friend, and yet I got 25% of the [Jewish] vote.” Now, I certainly can’t speak for the Jewish community, but my guess is there might be a rather strong reluctance among Jews, to support a candidate who most neo-nazi and fascist organizations here in the US - consider to be their de facto leader.  The funny thing about Jews is - they don’t really seem to trust nazis and fascists all that much. Then, later in the call, Trump indicated he’d really like to “meet with the Catholics.”  Terrific idea - only I suspect he’ll be rather shocked to learn how many Catholics are Hispanic.  Not to

Police Steal $87,000 From a Former Marine They Claim was Following a Truck Too Closely

The Washington Post reports that a Nevada trooper stopped former Marine Stephen Lara, over a bogus claim about the highway patrol trying to educate drivers “about violations they may not realize they’re committing,” telling the former Marine he’d been pulled over for “following a tanker truck too closely,” - a claim Lara denied.   The trooper then searched Lara’s car and found $87,000 in cash, which the police immediately confiscated and refused to return, even though Lara was released and charged with no crime.   Lara is now suing to get his money returned to him. Oh, I get it now!  He was pulled over for “tailgating.”  Now, to be completely honest, I don’t like tailgaters either, but isn’t an $87,000 fine just a wee bit extreme?  Why, that’s nearly as much as a parking meter violation here in LA.  Meanwhile, Lara told the cops he was carrying the cash because doesn’t trust banks, but his ex-wife thinks he’s just hiding the money from her.   Perhaps, but what I don’t get is, how

Gun Maker Subpoenas Disciplinary Records of Murdered Sandy Hook Children

Vice News reports that gun manufacturer Remington has subpoenaed the attendance records, report cards, and disciplinary records of the Newton Public School’s kindergarten and first-grade students who were murdered in the Sandy Hook school shooting that took place in Connecticut back in 2012. Gee, Remington’s actually going to subpoena disciplinary records for slaughtered kindergartners and first graders?  Now, some may ask “could these greedy gun manufacturers possibly be more heartless?”  Well, the answer is “yes, probably!”  Anyway, I wonder why Remington didn’t want to publicize this request?  After all, attacking murdered children sure sounds like a strategy that’s almost certain to have strong public support. Of course, I realize it’s difficult to imagine how anyone could actually believe these children were to blame for their own massacre. Well, before we judge, it’s important to fully understand what Remington’s trying to say here, which is basically “Before you blame us, le