Trump Gave Keynote Speech to a Moonie Cult Conference on 9-11 Anniversary

Rather than participate like other presidents in ceremonies around the 20th anniversary of the 9-11 terrorist attacks, former President Donald Trump instead chose to give the keynote speech at a “Unification Church” conference (aka the Moonie cult), heaping praise on Hak Ja Han Moon, widow of Reverend Sun Myung Moon - the cult’s founder. The “Moonie cult” is known for its extreme right-wing politics, appreciation of AR-15 assault rifles, ownership of the conservative Washington Times newspaper, and its mass weddings of thousands of couples - all selected and paired together by the Unification Church.

Good grief! Forgive me for getting so emotional, but it kind of warms the heart to witness two very prominent cult leaders, praising each other like this. Why, the Moonies even sent a whole contingent of folks to President Trump’s Jan 6th insurrection and coup attempt at the US Capitol earlier this year. Talk about “feeling the love!”

And, to be completely honest, you have to give the guy credit. Donald Trump is the kind of guy who is willing to pay tribute to some of the great cult leaders who came before him. You know, folks like Jim Jones, David Koresh, Marshall Applewhite of the Heaven’s Gate Cult, and the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.

Fun Fact: all these cult leaders appear to have even had product endorsement deals - Jim Jones (Grape Kool-Aid), David Koresh (Gun Manufacturers), Marshall Applewhite of Heaven’s Gate (Nike sneakers), and the Moonies (AR-15s). Now, as for the mass weddings - well, I’m sure the Scientologists are like, “now, why the hell didn’t didn't we think of that?”

Anyway, so now Trump’s doing commentary for a bogus pay-per-view fight, and a keynote speech for the Moonie cult? Gee, it’s almost as if he’s really desperate for cash. How long can it be before “Trump Holy Water“ hits the market? You Laugh? Then just ask yourself, how often can you save your soul and quench your thirst - all at the same time? Just let that set in for a minute!

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit

Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit: US President Donald Trump is showing off a shockingly new slicked-back hairdo, as he prepares to meet with the Queen during his first official state visit to the UK. Good God? What the hell is that all about? Is he trying to bring back the mullet? Either that, or he’s secretly planning on entering a Gary Busey lookalike contest as soon as he gets to London. My guess is, he’s trying to put on his best bohunk sexy look for his meetup with the queen. One thing’s for sure, he now actually looks exactly like the greasy, mob slime ball he tries to act like. Maybe he figures that if he ever does get impeached, when they come to get him, no one will be able to recognize him. But hell, even if he does get impeached, he’ll have nothing to worry as far as getting a job. I mean, what respectable La Vegas used car lot wouldn’t wanna hire a guy who looks like that? https://ww...

Trump Tells Hannity He Can Declassify Secret Documents With Just His Mind

During a recent interview on Fox News with Sean Hannity, former president Donald Trump tried to defend stashing extremely sensitive classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago resort by saying he was the president, and the president can declassify, simply by “saying its declassified.” Trump further added that “there doesn't have to be a process - there can be a process, but there doesn't have to be.” Trump then told Hannity that if you're the president of the United States, you can actually declassify something “by just ‘ thinking’ about it.” Oh, my word! You mean to tell me Trump actually thinks he can declassify the government's most guarded secrets, simply by “thinking about them?” Now, not to be critical, but it sure sounds like someone has been spending way too much of their spare time binge-watching old episodes of “I Dream of Jeannie.” I mean, about the only thing he left out was that he also sprinkled the documents with “pixie dust!” This...

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog