You've Got to Be Kidding?

The Washington Post reports that a federal jury has ordered Rudy Giuliani to pay $148 million to two Georgia election workers who sued him for defamation, asserting that the former New York Mayor and attorney for Donald Trump exposed them to a life-altering torrent of abuse and trauma by promoting false claims that they stole the 2020 election from the former president in Georgia. Gee, $148 million?  Well, then - in keeping with the season, let us sing, “Joy to the world, the Ghoul is done!”   It seems that while truth is cheap, lies are getting to be quite expensive.   I mean, that’s a lot of cash for a guy who is already broke.   If only he knew some billionaire, who could possibly help bail him out.   Seems that by hooking himself up to the Trump Train, Rudy has gone from ”America’s Mayor” to “America's Payor.”   Why, these days, Rudy acts more like a stray dog looking for some scraps than a former mayor of New York. Hell, if times get really bad, maybe ...

Not long after Texas Judge Maya Guerra Gamble issued a temporary restraining order (TRO) barring the state of Texas from preventing a woman who has severe pregnancy complications from having an abortion, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton sent out threatening letters to Texas hospitals informing them that the TRO is temporary and that Texas will go after any hospital or doctor that provides pregnant Katie Cox with the necessary abortion. He then petitioned the conservative Texas Supreme Court, who then (as expected) overruled the lower court’s decision, thereby placing the woman’s abortion status in limbo.   The fetus Katie Cox is carrying suffers from Edwards Syndrome, a fetal anomaly that, 50% of the time, results in the fetus dying before or during birth, with 95 percent of those surviving past that dying painful deaths within the next two weeks.   Doctors have advised Cox the pregnancy is non-viable, and proceeding with it carries significant risks to her own future healt...

For the first time in history, a commercial plane has flown across the Atlantic Ocean without using any fossil fuels.  Virgin Atlantic said the test flight from London to New York was powered only by sustainable aviation fuel (SAF), a broad category of jet fuel that creates fewer carbon emissions than standard kerosene blends.  The fuel on this flight was made from “waste fats and plant sugars” that emit 70% less carbon than petroleum-based jet fuel. Gee, a plane propelled only by fat and sugar?  Hell, that’s nothing!  If recent polls are correct, a “ man ” fueled by nothing but fat and sugar may very well become President of the United States in 2024!  Either that or, for a brief moment, I thought perhaps Donald J. Trump had sprouted wings and “Trump Air” was operational again.  As the old saying goes, “When pigs fly!”  Well, this flight demonstrates that maybe they really can.   All kidding aside, I don’t really see this as a particularly si...

In a surefire sign indicating how difficult its getting for Russian President Vladimir Putin to find soldiers to fight in his war with Ukraine, a Russian murderer and cannibal - who killed at least 4 people and even ate one of his victims - has been released from prison to go fight in Ukraine.   Denis Gorin, 44, who was sentenced to 22 years in a special-regime prison colony for murder in 2018, has been told if he survives after six months at the front - he'll be a free man when he returns to Russia. Wow!  Wonder how they talked him into that?   I mean, that war with Ukraine is no “picnic.”   Although, I’m sure a man like Gorin could easily turn it into one.   Hell, the Russians probably promised him he’d get to eat everything he kills.   The Russians must figure as long as they don’t make him a cook, everything will be just fine.   That said, with cannibalism now in the mix, next time Western forces supply Ukraine with military armaments, maybe they s...

Angry former competitive swimmer Riley Gaines, who gained fame after raging against trans athletes, recently went on Jesse Watters’ Fox News program to complain that folks who present Santa as a person of color “don’t represent the overwhelming majority of how this country and most of the world really feel about this issue.”   She further added that she thinks “the majority of people - parents especially - believe a gay Nutcracker or a Black disabled Santa has gone way too far; the pendulum has swung too far." Ah, its Christmas again.  That wonderful time of year when conservatives and Fox News panelists gather together to complain about how the Libs have completely ruined Christmas by wishing them “Happy Holidays!”   Yeah, I suppose those Libs can be really pushy, alright.   Why, next thing you know - they’ll be claiming Jesus was a Jew.   Can you imagine that?   Besides, everyone knows that George Santos (R-NY) is the real Santa Claus. Now, not to be cri...

As if their unrelenting verbal volleys were no longer enough, Republicans in both the US House and Senate are now resorting to physical threats and actual physical intimidation as former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy apparently exacted revenge on Rep. Tim Burchett (R-TN) yesterday for voting to oust him as House Speaker by giving Burchett an “elbow shove in the kidney" as he walked past him in the Capitol.   This led Burchett to confront McCarthy in a shouting match.   Meanwhile, in the US Senate, Republican Oklahoma Sen. Markwayne Mullin, a former MMA fighter, challenged Teamster boss Sean O’Brien to a fistfight while he was testifying before a Senate committee.   Sen. Mullin was pissed about remarks O’Brien made about him on social media.   The two probably would have come to blows had not Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-VT) intervened and reminded Mullin that he needs to behave like a US Senator. Geez, MAGA Republicans are turning Congress into a 5th-grade schoolyard. ...

Ivanka Trump has been trying every possible angle to avoid testifying in her family’s $250 million bank fraud trial brought forth by New York Attorney General Letitia James.  In fact, after she was finally ordered to testify in the trial last week, she once again appealed the decision on the grounds that she would face “undue hardship” if she had to find childcare in order to testify during the school week.   In denying that request, the judge basically reminded Ivanka that “she could probably afford a babysitter.” Gee, I’m confused.  You'd think Princess Sparkle Pony would wanna drop everything to defend her father and brothers in court.   Why, its almost as if she already knows they’re guilty.   That said, if poor Ivanka and Jared can’t afford a babysitter, perhaps Jared should consider asking the Saudis for a little more cash.   After all, that $2 billion the Saudis already gave him only goes so far.   Of course, I realize that Saudi cash might be a...

After months of struggling to raise money and gain traction in the polls, former Vice President Mike Pence, who began his campaign by implying it was “God’s Will” that he should run for President of the United States, dropped his bid for the Republican presidential nomination by stating “This is not my time.” Dammit!  and I just bought my Pence bumper sticker too!   That said, Mike - I think you’re right.   This isn’t you’re time.   In fact, I’m pretty sure your time may have passed somewhere around the mid to late 1950s.   Yet, at his Las Vegas announcement, Pence told supporters that with regard to his failed campaign, he “Has no regrets.”   Oh, I’m quite sure he has "no regrets," other than the fact that almost no one in the entire country ever had any intention whatsoever of voting for him. Well, as Mike and “Mother’s” Good Book might say - “And thus so endeth - the campaign of Mike Pence.”   The funny thing is, for a candidate supposedly so heavi...

Federal prosecutors have unsealed charges against four members of a Philadelphia-area truck robbery crew who made off with more than 2 million dimes that were being shipped from the US Mint in Philadelphia to Miami.   The heist took place while the tractor-trailer driver was sleeping in a Philadelphia parking lot. Well, I guess that pretty much explains why the local “Coinstar” machine was out of order.   Seems these damn coin collectors will do about anything to get their grubby little hands on more coins.   All I can say to these crooks is, “Don't steal that dime - if you can't do the time.”   And I do mean crooks.   I mean, it isn’t like these folks were gonna donate these coins to the “March of Dimes.”   Of course, that’s just my opinion.   I’m just trying to get my two cents worth in. Was it really worth it?  Well, even if these are a pretty good haul, it isn’t like these coins are “worth a mint.”   Besides, this whole thing sounds more ...

Paid a visit this past weekend to an old friend named “Cliff,” who has a place way up in the Santa Monica mountains overlooking LA.  I usually don’t like long drives, but Cliff asked me over because he was feeling “really down” – at least really down for a guy who “lives way up.”  Cliff admits a lot of his troubles are mostly his fault.  As you can see, Cliff’s the kind of guy who “lives right on the edge.” What was troubling Cliff?  Well, it turns out that Cliff’s girlfriend Grace had suddenly left him.  That’s right, no note - no nothing.  The disturbing thing is Grace may not have left intentionally, for you see Grace was a sleepwalker.  Now, I know some of you are going to ask, why in the hell would a woman allow herself to “fall” for a guy named Cliff who lives way up on the side of a mountain?  Well, as I mentioned before, Grace was a sleepwalker – so I guess it was just a matter of physics.  I suppose one could call it “a fall from Gra...

In the wake of the terror attack in Israel by Hamas, Donald Trump Jr. has put out a new video advising Americans to purchase AR-15s and 30-round clips to protect themselves and their families "Because if people in motorized paragliders come into your home - that's what it's for.”   Don Jr. further justified the AR-15s by claiming that “The government is too busy spying on your grandmother and conservatives to protect you,” adding that training to use assault weapons is also a terrific way “to bond with the family.” Wow, move over Jewish Space Lasers, COVID vaccines, and cancer-causing windmills.  Seems there’s a new kid on the block - motorized paragliders!   Sounds like someone’s getting a wee bit paranoid.   A little too much “Columbian Nose Candy, perhaps?”   MAGAs are like, “Hell, I think I saw one flying through my linen closet.”   So terrific!   Next thing you know, we’ll have half-witted, fentanyl-strung-out MAGAs firing assault weapons at anyth...

The Daily Beast reports that Texas Gov. Greg Abbott announced this week that the Texas National Guard is installing razor wire along the border of Texas and New Mexico on his orders, claiming that New Mexico’s Democratic Governor Michelle Grisham is allowing “Migrants to enter New Mexico illegally,  who then cross into Texas,” and “We are stopping it.”   Of course, many feel the real reason for Gov. Abbott’s razor-wire fence is that New Mexico is a safe haven for women seeking abortions, and Abbott and his pals fear women are “sneaking out of Texas unnoticed” to get them.   They point out that Abbott has been railing about this issue for months now. Well, we all know how much Abbott and his Republican pals are constantly harping about how Texas is synonymous with freedom, and believe me, nothing spells freedom quite like a “razor wire fence.”  Ah, but what’s the big deal, other than this violates tons of state and federal laws, including a citizens’ right of free tra...

As many folks ponder the potential for AI to give false or misleading answers, the Washington Post is reporting that if you ask an Amazon Alexa for information about the 2020 election, the popular voice assistant will tell you the election was “stolen by a massive amount of election fraud.”   Amazon said that data came from a video-streaming service used by ultra-conservatives called “Rumble.”   Alexa makes this claim even though multiple investigations into the 2020 election have revealed no evidence of fraud, and Trump faces federal criminal charges connected to his efforts to overturn the 2020 election. Why, of course, the election was stolen!  We know that because Donald Trump told us it was so - a full three months before anyone had even voted.   He said, “If I’m not the winner, then the election was stolen.”   Only a “stable genius” could know stuff like that months before the election was even held.   Hell, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Tr...

After a newspaper interview with British Defense Minister Grant Shapps revealed that the United Kingdom was in talks with Ukraine to provide military training, Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R) accused the British government of trying to start World War III.   Greene further added “The U.S. cannot participate.   NO AMERICA TROOPS!   We must defend our own border.” Oh, wait!  You mean the woman who has been advocating a “National Divorce” and threatening civil war here in the US (if she doesn’t get her way) - is now concerned about WW III?   Well, I’ll be!   All I can say is, for someone who seems so concerned about WWIII, she sure seems to be in one helluva lot of pics holding high-powered, military-grade automatic weapons. Besides, just what does the UK training Ukraine troops to defend themselves against a Russian invasion have to do with the US defending its southern border?  Am I missing something here?   That said, I do have to...

The Associated Press reports that during a protest organized by Native American advocacy group “ The Red Nation” to stop the relocation of a statue of brutal conquistador Juan de Oñate to outside an official county building in northern New Mexico, a 23-year-old man in a red MAGA cap named Ryan Martinez pulled out a gun and opened fire on the crowd, wounding one man.   Martinez then fled the scene in a “white Tesla” but was soon apprehended by sheriff's deputies. Great, so now we have “pro-conquistador” terrorists?  Who knew?   Now, I’m sure his MAGA attorneys will try and argue that this is all nothing but a “false flag” and that the real perpetrator was a George Soros-financed ANTIFA radical in a MAGA costume.   Of course, the success of that defense is a bit of a longshot, given all those cameras Teslas have onboard.   Hell, his entire getaway was probably recorded in living color and 4K. But seriously?  A MAGA terrorist actually fled the scene of a righ...

After creating a disturbance and getting escorted out of the theater during a presentation of “Beetlejuice,” Lauren Boebert went on the Jesse Watters Fox News program to do her penance after being captured acting like an immature high school brat on theater security footage.   In her interview, Boebert assured Watters that she wasn't drunk but just really “into the show” and that she's “learned her lesson.”   She then added, "It is my responsibility to bring levity to my constituents' lives, never gravity.   Never should my action burden those who I represent, ah, so, ah, I will, ah, work, ah to only bring levity to them and, ah, try to bring as many solutions as possible.” Gee, wonder if Boebert has any idea what “levity” actually means?  Hell, only Lauren Boebert could think her job is to “bring levity to her constituents' lives.”   So, she thinks voters sent her to Congress to make them laugh?   Now, I don’t know about her constituents, but I do have to...