USGS Says Human Feces Contains Gold Worth Millions: In one of those truth-is-stranger-than-fiction stories, experts at the US Geological Survey say they’ve discovered human feces contains enough gold, platinum and silver, that - if retrieved - could be worth upwards of hundreds of millions of dollars. The agency further estimates that the value of the metal in the biological waste from only one million Americans, may be worth as much as $13 million. Wait a minute, if my calculations are correct, that’s roughly $13 - for every time you sit on the crapper! Hell, maybe it’s time to start thinking about going back on that high-fiber diet again. Now, pardon my skepticism, but I’m finding this story a bit hard to digest. I mean, what the hell kind of upside-down, crazy, insane “gold rush" is this supposed to be? Are you trying to tell me that that “pot of gold” we’ve all dreamed about, is actually my commode? Say it isn’t so! I’ll ...