You've Got to Be Kidding?

FDA Approves Injectable Med to Bolster Women's Sex Drive:  Federal regulators approved a medication to boost low sex drive in women that comes in the form of a shot to the thigh or abdomen.  Of course, the first thing Trump officials wanted to know was “is it available in the form of a blowgun dart?” https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Naked Violinist Arrested Outside Federal Courthouse in Portland:   A 25-year-old man has been arrested for indecent exposure after police received multiple complaints about the man playing his violin in the nude outside a federal courthouse.  On a positive note, I suppose we should be grateful he was just playing his violin and not his organ. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com  Facebook’s New Data Center Runs on 100 Percent Wind Energy:  Facebook has announced that it’s been helping to develop an Iowa wind farm to cover the energy use of its new data center.  I guess it makes good sense when you...

Man Swallows Entire of 750-Milligram Bottle of Liquid Viagra:  A 50-something man was forced to seek medical attention after drinking an entire 750-milligram bottle of liquid Viagra, which caused him to experience severe vision issues such as a debilitating night blindness, doughnut-shaped spots in his eyes and an extreme sensitivity to light. Gee, who could have ever guessed that taking an entire bottle of a medication instead of the recommended dosage could have negative side effects?  Imagine that?  Obviously, this is someone who has to learn his lessons the “hard way!”   I mean, hasn’t he ever heard that old phrase - "stop it, or you'll go blind?”  Sadly, it all happened so fast, he never saw it coming.  Now, he’s in a situation where he can’t even bend over to tie his own shoes and was forced to sell his Mini Cooper.  Meanwhile, the poor guy’s gonna be saddled with all these medical bills and heaven knows he’s not a rich man - in f...

Scientists Find Pain Reliever in Coffee Similar to Morphine:   Brazilian scientists say they’ve discovered a protein in coffee that has effects similar to the pain reliever morphine.  The only difference being that buying morphine is sure a helluva lot cheaper than buying coffee at Starbucks.  https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Research Shows Meteorites Triggering Avalanches on Mars:   A research team has concluded that as meteorites careen toward the surface of Mars, they often trigger massive avalanches, even before they hit the ground.  Fortunately, no injuries have been reported. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Brothel Owner and Republican Candidate Dennis Hof Dies:   Dennis Hof, the ultra-conservative brothel owner who won the Republican primary for the Nevada state legislature and who was good pals with the likes of Donald Trump, former Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio, Tax Reform President Grover Norquist and Tucker Carlson, ha...

Lack of Sleep May Harm Men's Sperm:  A new study from Denmark determined that not getting enough sleep may harm men’s sperm, with men who slept poorly having lower sperm counts and fewer sperm that had formed correctly.  I get it.  Hell, my sperm always tries to get a solid eight hours of sleep, but sometimes it’s just too damned hard to sleep that long. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com First Gray Wolf Seen in Grand Canyon in Decades:  A rare gray wolf has recently been spotted on the north rim of the Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona in what would be the first gray wolf sighting in the park since 1940.  Sadly, those who actually saw the animal say that "the old gray wolf, she ain't what she used to be." https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Baltimore Most Dangerous City for Drivers:   A new insurance industry survey lists Baltimore as the most dangerous city in the country for drivers.  In related news, Los Angeles was lis...

Man Sues CVS For Telling Wife About Viagra Prescription:   A New York man claims the actions of a chatty CVS employee who informed his wife about his Viagra prescription, caused his marriage to dissolve.  Let’s face it, some secrets are just very “hard” to keep.  How long did he think he could keep this up?  Me thinks he probably wasn't using the Viagra at home.  Guess you could say the pharmacist kind of BLUE his cover.  Now, if it were me, I would have blamed that damn Alexa for placing the order.    One thing’s for sure, incidents like this can put a pharmacy somewhere between a cock and a hard place.  That said, they still should have at least waited 4 hours before telling his wife.  Obviously, she knew something was up - now what could it be?  Anyway, she drove right home and said “Honey, I've got a boner to pick with you!”   So now it appears that the whole world knows.  From now on, its not gonna be...