You've Got to Be Kidding?

CNN is reporting that according to a new study, fish off the coast of Florida have tested positive for a cocktail of pharmaceutical drugs, including blood pressure medications and anti-depressants.   In fact, the study found that each of the 93 fish it tested, had an average of seven drugs in their system. Gee, Florida fish are on blood pressure meds and antidepressants?  Who knew the fish were depressed?  Well, can’t say as I blame them.  After all, they’re living in Florida.  So, forget “Florida Man,” because we now have “Florida Fish!”  Florida Republicans, on the other hand, say this is really nothing anyone needs to be concerned about, just as long as these fish aren’t being taught “Critical Race Theory.”  Naturally, this report has environmentalists pleading “For the love of Cod, something needs to be done about this!”  In response, the Governor signed his “No Pills for Gills” executive order and told Floridians not to worry, because "We'...

Colombia Ecosystem Being Overrun by Pablo Escobar’s Hippos:   In the 1980s, drug kingpin Pablo Escobar smuggled four hippos onto his private country estate.   Now, years later, dozens of them roam the wetlands north of Bogota, making them the largest invasive species on the planet and causing environmentalists to fear a potential ecological disaster is in the making. Now, wildlife biologists say they’ve considered castration, but as the great Yogi Berra might have put it, “it ain’t all that easy castrating a hippopotamus.”  First of all, it turns out it’s really hard, just trying to find a hippo’s “private parts.”  Of course, in all fairness, I’m sure Melania complains about that very same thing.  And, to add to all of that, local environmentalists say they’re at a complete loss to figure out exactly what to do with this ever expanding hippo population, pointing out that they really have no ecologically viable place to put them in Columbia.   No kidd...