Skip to main content

Colombia Ecosystem Being Overrun by Pablo Escobar’s Hippos


Colombia Ecosystem Being Overrun by Pablo Escobar’s Hippos:
  In the 1980s, drug kingpin Pablo Escobar smuggled four hippos onto his private country estate.  Now, years later, dozens of them roam the wetlands north of Bogota, making them the largest invasive species on the planet and causing environmentalists to fear a potential ecological disaster is in the making.

Now, wildlife biologists say they’ve considered castration, but as the great Yogi Berra might have put it, “it ain’t all that easy castrating a hippopotamus.”  First of all, it turns out it’s really hard, just trying to find a hippo’s “private parts.”  Of course, in all fairness, I’m sure Melania complains about that very same thing. 

And, to add to all of that, local environmentalists say they’re at a complete loss to figure out exactly what to do with this ever expanding hippo population, pointing out that they really have no ecologically viable place to put them in Columbia.  


No kidding?  Well then, why not just send them over to Mar-A-Lago?  Hell, turn the joint into one big hippopotamus petting zoo for Trump supporters?  The Trump cult would simply love it and everyone knows how cute and cuddly wild hippos are.  Why, they’d never hurt a flea.

 

Besides, the good folks in Florida never seem to be able to get their fill of invasive species.  Hell, the place is closest thing we have to a real life Jurassic Park.  Why, it’d be like “Mr Hippo, meet Ms Burmese Python and Mr Alligator.”  To which, they’d all politely respond “Pleased to eat you.”


Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s.  She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden.  The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.”  There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed.  In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls.   Okay, so now let me get this straight.  A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location:   The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting.  Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts.  I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property?  Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members:   President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.”  That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him.  You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com