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Showing posts from October, 2022

Christian MAGA Pastor Claims Democrats Secretly Boiling and Eating School Children

After declaring “I don’t want no pervert, and I don’t want no pedophile in my school,” radical MAGA Nebraska Christian Nationalist pastor and self-proclaimed prophet Hank Kunneman, drew a rousing round of applause from parishioners during his Sunday sermon after warning he will not tolerate leftist Democrat Party cannibalistic gay teachers wearing women’s wigs - reading to school children.   Pastor Kunneman then posed the question, “how many more kids are gonna have to be boiled and eaten” before we take action? Good grief!  You mean to tell me those damnable leftists are back to their old habit of boiling and eating schoolchildren again?   Well, all I can say is, this will certainly make you think twice before ordering anything off of one of those "Kids Menus,” next time you head over to your favorite restaurant.   That said, wonder if they come with a side of fries?   Anyway, word on the street has it that “school children’s fat” also makes a wonderful soap, that’s rumored to ke

Documents at Mar-a-Lago Held Highly Classified Secrets on Iran and China

The Washington Post reports that former President Donald J. Trump had some of the most “highly sensitive classified information in the world” stashed away at his Mar-a-Lago resort.   In fact, some of the materials were so top-secret, that many senior national security officials weren’t even told about them, including documents describing Iran's missile program and information detailing highly sensitive intelligence operations aimed at China. Gee, not to be cynical, but it almost sounds as if Donald Trump might have been a wee bit haphazard about his housekeeping.  Oh well, not to worry though, because word has it that once he realized there may be a security issue down there at Mar-a-Lago, Trump immediately called his old pal Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud, and handed everything right over to Saudi Arabia for safekeeping.   Who says Mr. Trump doesn’t have a clear focus on National Security? Oh sure, some cynics may ask, with all this evidence piling up against him, why hasn’t the Just

British Prime Minister Liz Truss Resigns After Only Six Weeks in Office

British Prime Minister Liz Truss has been forced to resign after just six weeks in office.   Her downfall came after she announced enormous tax cuts for the wealthy without any explanation as to how they'd be paid for, which sent the UK's economy into a massive freefall.   This made her time in office, the shortest tenure in history for a British prime minister. Gee, only six weeks?  Wonder how many Scaramuccis that amounts to?   The big joke in the UK was “which would last longer, Truss’ tenure, or a head of lettuce?”   Well, lettuce think about that for a minute, because for her measly 49 days in office, she’s now entitled to an annual pension of £115,000 per year (approx. $130,000) - starting immediately.   Not a bad six-week haul for someone who says the “Welfare State” destroys people’s incentive to work. Taking a page right out of “Donald Trump’s political playbook,” Prime Minister Truss chose her chancellor and close ally Kwasi Kwarteng to be the fall guy who would annou

Steve Bannon Gloats ‘Christian Nationalism will Destroy the Democrat Party’

Not trying to hide his contempt for democracy and opposing viewpoints, soon-to-be-jailed MAGA rabble-rouser Steve Bannon spoke to a radical Catholic Christian organization, pointing out that “Christian Nationalism” is what the Democrat Party fears most.”   Bannon told the crowd that "We stand with a unique opportunity that will never come to us again.   To destroy the Democrat Party as a national political institution.”   Bannon then moved on to stoking racial fears by asking "Did you see June 2020, when they burned down Chicago, Seattle, burned down Portland, burned down New York?   Did you see that?   Are there any federal charges on that?”   I mean, talk about a Christian “love fest!” Wow, and to think I’ve been under the impression that cities like Chicago, Seattle, Portland, and New York were still there.  Gee whiz, I just talked on the phone with a friend of mine from New York the other day, and he never mentioned that the entire city had burned to the ground.   Guess

Fox News Guest Implies Black People Hardwired for Reefer Addiction

Joltin’ Joe Biden’s recent announcement that he intends to pardon everyone with a federal conviction for smoking or possessing marijuana, has been throwing Republicans into a total “ Reefer Madness” frenzy.   So much so, that Fox host Tucker Carlson saw fit to invite an “expert” on Black reefer addiction, none other than white supremacist Heather Mac Donald of the right-wing “ Manhattan Institute,” to explain the situation.   Mac Donald complained Biden justified his move by claiming Blacks are disproportionately more likely to be arrested for cannabis than Whites, despite a similar rate of cannabis use.   Mac Donald said that claim is totally false, and implied Blacks get addicted to marijuana at significantly higher rates than everyone else. So says a woman who has probably asked to “speak to the manager” in just about every business she's ever patronized.  Got to hand it to old Tucker though.   He really knows how to get to the “bottom” of things.   Who better to get unbiased i

Marjorie Taylor Greene Calls Alex Jones’ Sandy Hook Awards ‘Attack on Free Speech’

After a Sandy Hook jury announced a nearly $1 billion award against InfoWars’ Alex Jones in a civil trial in Connecticut, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) took to Twitter to rage against the decision, suggesting that the trial is a “violation of his First Amendment rights.”  The jury found Jones used his InfoWars show to repeatedly portray the 2012 school shooting as a “false flag operation staged by the government,” a claim which led his supporters to stalk, harass, and threaten parents of the slain students for years to come. My, my!  Now, we all know what a prolific legislator Rep. Greene is. Perhaps the good congresswoman should consider introducing legislation to “eliminate all liable laws?”   That said, I do understand the point she’s making, which is basically this - it’s time all this accountability crap comes to an end.  No conservative should ever be held responsible for what they say.  Hell, if a fella like Jones can get sued over a few vicious lies about murdered children

Kanye West’s Antisemitic Posts Hailed as ‘Free Speech’ by Republicans

Instagram has locked the account of rapper Ye (formerly Kanye West), after he suggested fellow musician Sean “Diddy” Combs was “controlled by Jewish people.”   Then, just hours after billionaire Elon Musk welcomed him back to Twitter, Kanye posted an antisemitic tweet saying he would go to “death con 3 On JEWISH PEOPLE.”   Twitter responded by locking Kanye’s account also.   However, those reactions to hate speech may soon be a thing of the past, if Elon Musk and a conservative-led movement get their way.   They promise to rein in what they describe as “censorship” by Silicon Valley giants and have been busy passing state laws that seek to “restrict social media content moderation,” policies that are sure to make online hate speech much more commonplace. Gee, I could be wrong, but I have the feeling many Americans really don’t want to be lectured about “censorship,” from a fanatical political movement that has spent the past year “banning books.”  That said, I do agree it’s primarily

Biden Offers Mass Pardon for Folks Convicted of Marijuana Possession

The Washington Post reports that President Biden has just announced major steps toward decriminalizing marijuana possession, offering mass pardons for anyone convicted of a federal crime for simple marijuana possession, and urging governors to do the same.   He also directed his administration to expedite a review of whether marijuana should continue to be listed as a Schedule I substance, a classification reserved for the most dangerous drugs like heroin, and ecstasy. Well, well, well!   It seems Dark Branden has struck again.   I guess this is Joe Biden’s idea of a “Green New Deal.”   Not surprisingly, this news immediately sent Republicans’ heads spinning, with Fox News pundits acting as if this “pot pardon” will mean the end of western civilization as we know it.   Gee, funny how Republicans totally freak out over “pardons for pot,” yet have no problem at all with Trump’s “pardons for treason.”   That’s right, I’m looking at you, Steve Bannon and Gen. Mike Flynn! Frankly, I think M

Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles.  In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.”  When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now!  Let’s get real.  It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene.  Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway.  Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her at th

Gubernatorial Candidate Mastriano Would Outlaw ‘Pole Dancing’ In Pennsylvania Schools

At a recent campaign event, Trump-backed Pennsylvania Republican gubernatorial candidate Doug Mastriano told a wildly enthusiastic crowd that after he is elected, he would immediately ban Critical Race Theory, remove all the graphic pornographic books, and eliminate pole dancing from Pennsylvania’s elementary schools.   Mastriano made these claims, in spite of the fact that there is no evidence whatsoever any of these things even exist in Pennsylvania’s school system.   Gee, I think someone should probably tell Doug Mastriano that all those “Hot Teacher” porn videos on the internet - aren’t actually real.  Not to be critical, but maybe it’s about time his staffers think about canceling his Pornhub subscription.  I mean, just because Mastriano happens to be way behind in the “poles,” doesn’t mean he should take it out on “pole dancers!”  Besides, what’s wrong with Polish people dancing, anyway?     Frankly, that makes me wonder if “pole dancing” is currently the prerequisite for “l