The Washington Post reports that former President Donald J. Trump had some of the most “highly sensitive classified information in the world” stashed away at his Mar-a-Lago resort. In fact, some of the materials were so top-secret, that many senior national security officials weren’t even told about them, including documents describing Iran's missile program and information detailing highly sensitive intelligence operations aimed at China.
Gee, not to be cynical, but it almost sounds as if Donald Trump might have been a wee bit haphazard about his housekeeping. Oh well, not to worry though, because word has it that once he realized there may be a security issue down there at Mar-a-Lago, Trump immediately called his old pal Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud, and handed everything right over to Saudi Arabia for safekeeping. Who says Mr. Trump doesn’t have a clear focus on National Security?
Oh sure, some cynics may ask, with all this evidence piling up against him, why hasn’t the Justice Department indicted Trump yet? Hell, the last I heard, Attorney General Garland was still “ever so politely” asking Trump to “please, please, be so kind as to return all those secret documents.” After all, the DOJ doesn’t wanna appear rude by being too forward. Besides, Trump’s evangelical-leaning attorneys claim everything’s already been declassified through a process the Bible describes as “Immaculate Declassification.”
Of course, one problem slowing down the DOJ is that there just aren’t nearly enough jurors out there to even serve on all the grand juries that’d be needed to cover all of Trump’s various crimes. I’ll tell you what, with the way things are going, my advice is if you ever find yourself busted for something like - oh, let’s say jaywalking - just tell the court you’d like to plea bargain down to a lesser charge of “stealing top secret government documents,” and you’ll walk out free as a bird! You’re welcome!
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