You've Got to Be Kidding?

Atomwaffen n eo-Nazi group founder Brandon Russell - recently released from prison - and his 34-year-old girlfriend Sarah Beth Clendaniel, who actually met while serving time in separate prisons, have been charged with plotting to knock out power stations around Maryland, the latest in a string of criminal, anti-government, right-wing domestic terrorist attacks on the nation's power grid. But gee, they seem awfully nice.  So, now the only questions remaining are - how long before folks like Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Lauren Boebert, and Marjorie Taylor Greene start referring to them as “patriots and political prisoners,” and will Republican leaders invite them to this year’s State of the Union address?   After all, in Republican speak, making plans to wipe out an entire state’s power grid - is considered legitimate political discourse.  Besides, as any MAGA will tell you, these two aren’t nearly as dangerous as George Floyd - an unarmed man who was killed, simply becau...

After being relieved of his duties and slated to be ushered out of the Marine Corps for posting an online video questioning senior military officials while in uniform and rank insignia, disgraced Marine Lt. Colonel Stuart Scheller posted a more recent video, with a chess set in front of him, issuing the threat “You have no idea what I’m capable of doing.”   Col. Scheller then continued with a series of additional thinly-veiled threats, warning about a secret society called the “Bellwether Alliance,” and urging people to “Follow me and we will bring this whole fucking system down.” Now, say what you want, but I can relate to how this guy feels, because this is exactly how I felt the other day at Costco, when they asked me to show my club card.  Why, I thought, “you don't know what I'm capable of.”  The thing is, we all have to find that place to take our stand, and - because it was such a hot day, I figured I’d make mine over by the frozen foods. So you see, when you ...

Congressional office buildings and nearby homes had to be evacuated for the third time this year, as authorities negotiated with 49-year-old North Carolina Trump supporter Floyd Ray Roseberry, who claimed to have an explosive device in his truck.   Roseberry delivered an angry tirade over a Facebook live video, in which he threatened President Biden and other Democrats, called for a revolt against the federal government, said he’s willing to “die for the cause,” and expressed confidence Donald Trump would pardon him should he be arrested. Of course, I’m sure there are plenty of you who’ll consider Mr. Roseberry an extremely dangerous “domestic terrorist,” but to our Republican friends in Congress such as Mo Brooks and Marjorie Taylor Greene, he’s just another patriotic American, simply “touring” the US Capitol.  Perhaps, but it sure seemed like Roseberry was pretty serious about things, otherwise, why would he have worn his very best white t-shirt? Anyway, if I were Mr. R...

The Sacramento Bee reports that Jarrod Copeland, one of the two men arrested for plotting to bomb the office of the California Democratic Party, was denied pre-trial release at the very last minute, when his wife hesitated about having to commit to serve as her husband’s legal custodian, which meant monitoring that all the terms of his release are being honored.   Her hesitation in the matter occurred shortly after being informed by the court she could be jailed if she failed to report any violations - to which she responded “Yeah, that’s a big responsibility,” and then suggested the court find someone else to be his custodian. Wow, along with a criminal defense lawyer, sounds like Mr. Copeland’s probably gonna need a divorce lawyer too.  Now, I’m certainly no marriage counselor, but I believe if I were Mrs. Copeland, I think I’d take that old passage from those marriage vows "Till Death Do Us Part” - very, very, seriously.   And frankly, I think she has a pretty decen...

Gretchen Whitmer Says President is Stoking Violence in America:   In response to the arrests of 13 right-wing domestic terrorist militia members, who were recently arrested while preparing for a coup by kidnapping and possibly killing her and her children, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer blamed the President and his spokespeople for stoking the fires of hate - by sending out dog whistles to violent groups such as Proud Boys with messages like “Stand Back and Stand by.” Well, just how does Gov. Whitmer think folks with heads full of Fox News are supposed to act anyway, when all they wanna do is head down to the liquor store or a tattoo parlor - and she forces ‘em to put on a silly mask?   Talk about destroying the mood!  Hell, you walk into a tattoo parlor, hoping to get some macho tattoo like “We Hate Baby Harp Seals” - and then some “girl governor” tells you that you have to put on a sissy mask?  And then people wonder why they wanna kidnap her and her children?...

DHS Threatens to Send Federal Law Enforcement Into Portland:   After a far right protester, part of a heavily armed 600-vehicle caravan of white nationalist Trump supporters who entered Portland with plans to confront BLM protestors, was fatally shot - acting Homeland Security Secretary Chad Wolf has been threatening to send in federal law enforcement to confront the BLM protesters - even though Portland officials warn sending in the Feds will only further inflame tensions. Now, let’s see here.  President Trump makes a series of inflammatory speeches, which dog whistle his cult’s white nationalist storm troopers to head into Portland for the sole purpose of using the threat of violence to try and intimidate BLM protesters - and then he blames all the chaos on city officials?  I mean, gee whiz - who could have ever imagined that a heavily armed contingent of angry white nationalists, coming into town with loaded weapons, intent on confronting Black Lives Matter demons...

Gen Mattis Defends Protestors and Says Trump Tries to Divide Us:   Former Trump Defense Secretary Gen. Jim Mattis, excoriated President Trump on Wednesday by accusing him of deliberately trying to divide Americans, denouncing Trump’s threats of using military force on American streets, and praising those demanding justice following the police killing of George Floyd. In related news, it’s being reported that an autopsy has just revealed that George Floyd also was a carrier of the coronavirus, but was apparently completely asymptomatic.  That means the cops who murdered him, could potentially get the virus themselves and end up in the hospital on some respirator.  Well, one thing’s for sure, if that were to ever happen - they’d definitely gain a much better understanding of what “I can’t breath” actually means. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Man Accused of Licking Deodorants in Missouri Walmart:   A Missouri man has been arrested and charged with making a terrorist threat, after posting a video to social media from a local Walmart in which he proclaimed "Who's scared of the coronavirus? and “Don't touch your mouth" before he proceeded to lick a row of deodorants on the store shelf. Hell, why would this guy be afraid of the coronavirus?  I mean, let’s be honest.  Once you’ve swallowed as many Tide Pods as this guy has, what harm’s a little coronavirus gonna do? And, I suppose it’s a damn good thing he’s not afraid of the coronavirus, because word has it those County jails in Missouri - are now including it in their welcome baskets. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Washington State Lawmaker Accused of Terrorism Won't Resign:   A new report found that Trump-loving Washington state lawmaker Matt Shea, committed "domestic terrorism" when he participated in a 2016 armed standoff in Oregon, traveled around the country training young people on how to fight a “holy war,” promoted “patriot militia training” in anticipation of an upcoming armed conflict with law enforcement, called for replacing our current democracy with a theocracy and advocated killing all adult males who refuse to follow fundamentalist Christian biblical law. Now, in all fairness - Representative Shea does have kind of a point there.  I mean, I’ve always felt that nothing quite says “what a terrific American patriot you are” - like forcing someone to convert to your religion - at gunpoint! The thing is, even if citizens do manage to remove this wack job from office, the bottom line is - he’s still gonna be a shoe-in to head up Trump’s new “Space Force.”   ...