Biden Offers Mass Pardon for Folks Convicted of Marijuana Possession

The Washington Post reports that President Biden has just announced major steps toward decriminalizing marijuana possession, offering mass pardons for anyone convicted of a federal crime for simple marijuana possession, and urging governors to do the same. He also directed his administration to expedite a review of whether marijuana should continue to be listed as a Schedule I substance, a classification reserved for the most dangerous drugs like heroin, and ecstasy.

Well, well, well! It seems Dark Branden has struck again. I guess this is Joe Biden’s idea of a “Green New Deal.” Not surprisingly, this news immediately sent Republicans’ heads spinning, with Fox News pundits acting as if this “pot pardon” will mean the end of western civilization as we know it. Gee, funny how Republicans totally freak out over “pardons for pot,” yet have no problem at all with Trump’s “pardons for treason.” That’s right, I’m looking at you, Steve Bannon and Gen. Mike Flynn!

Frankly, I think MAGAs are just pissed Biden didn’t include their favorite drugs - opiates and meth. Not to mention, authorities in red states will now have to struggle to invent new excuses to arrest minorities. Of course, there is always jaywalking, but they’d better move fast on that, because some states like California have already moved to make that legal too. Why, it’s almost enough to make Republican politicians sell all their “private prison stock.” One thing’s for sure, this should settle any dispute as to who’s the real POTus.

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican female was thrown into prostituti

Nikki Haley Claims ‘America’s Never Been A Racist Country’

After causing quite a stir a few weeks ago when she told an audience member that the Civil War was fought over “States Rights,” refusing to even mention slavery, Republican Presidential hopeful Nikki Haley continued raising eyebrows again this week when Fox and Friends host Brian Kilmeade asked her if she thought the Republican Party was racist or if America was a “racist country.” Astonishingly, Haley immediately said, “No! We’re not a racist country, Brian! We’ve never been a racist country.” Wow! The new “female Mike Pence” just said what? That said, and in all fairness, she may have just raised an interesting point here. I mean, other than the slavery, repressive Jim Crow laws, the systematic slaughter and expropriation of Native Americans from their land, the segregation, the lynchings, the laws against interracial dating and marriage, discrimination in housing, education, and hiring, the negative and condescending portrayal of people of color in the media, minority vo

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location: The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting. Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts. I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property? Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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