Skip to main content

Biden Offers Mass Pardon for Folks Convicted of Marijuana Possession


The Washington Post reports that President Biden has just announced major steps toward decriminalizing marijuana possession, offering mass pardons for anyone convicted of a federal crime for simple marijuana possession, and urging governors to do the same.  He also directed his administration to expedite a review of whether marijuana should continue to be listed as a Schedule I substance, a classification reserved for the most dangerous drugs like heroin, and ecstasy.

Well, well, well!  It seems Dark Branden has struck again.  I guess this is Joe Biden’s idea of a “Green New Deal.”  Not surprisingly, this news immediately sent Republicans’ heads spinning, with Fox News pundits acting as if this “pot pardon” will mean the end of western civilization as we know it.  Gee, funny how Republicans totally freak out over “pardons for pot,” yet have no problem at all with Trump’s “pardons for treason.”  That’s right, I’m looking at you, Steve Bannon and Gen. Mike Flynn!

Frankly, I think MAGAs are just pissed Biden didn’t include their favorite drugs - opiates and meth.  Not to mention, authorities in red states will now have to struggle to invent new excuses to arrest minorities.  Of course, there is always jaywalking, but they’d better move fast on that, because some states like California have already moved to make that legal too. Why, it’s almost enough to make Republican politicians sell all their “private prison stock.”  One thing’s for sure, this should settle any dispute as to who’s the real POTus.


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List:  The Mary River turtle of Queensland, Australia, which breaths through its genitals and sports a punky green Mohican hairdo, has been placed on a new list of the most vulnerable reptile species on the planet.  Now, of course, we’ve all known people who talk out of their ass, but come on - breathing through your genitals is quite a feat.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Flat Earth Believers Tend to Be Young:  A new survey found that 34 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds entertain some doubts about whether the Earth is actually round.  Good grief, sounds like we flat out need to see that these millennials get a more well-rounded education.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Huge-Nosed Dinosaur Found in Utah:  Paleontologists have discovered a new dinosaur which had a humongous nose that lived 76-million years ago in what is now Utah.  Ironically, if ...

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence:   After declaring Roger Stone a victim of the “Russia hoax” perpetuated by the Left and its allies in the media, President Trump has commuted the three-year prison criminal sentence for the Republican operative and dirty trickster, who was due to report to federal prison on Tuesday after being found guilty of obstruction, witness tampering and lying to Congress. Good grief, is it my imagination, or has Trump actually just pardoned the real-life version of the Monopoly guy?  I mean, Stone is a villain right out of Charles Dickens.  Why, this is an act so corrupt, it’s almost enough to make Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin blush. Now, I’m no legal expert, but it appears what the Trump Administration is basically arguing is that - someone shouldn’t be punished for committing a crime which “they really should’ve gotten away with.”  And while that may sound a bit odd to the rest of us, that kind of thinking makes go...