Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base: Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!” Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils. Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.

What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.” You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healthcare, the freedom to discriminate against other Americans and, the freedom to watch fellow citizens being gunned down in public places like shopping malls.

You see, these Trump folks know how to take a stand for freedom. In fact, Trump’s economic policies have many of them standing almost knee-deep in “Trump freedom” right now. Who knew freedom could be like this?

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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