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Lauren Boebert Goes on Fox to ‘Explain’ Disruptive Theater Groping Incident


After creating a disturbance and getting escorted out of the theater during a presentation of “Beetlejuice,” Lauren Boebert went on the Jesse Watters Fox News program to do her penance after being captured acting like an immature high school brat on theater security footage.  In her interview, Boebert assured Watters that she wasn't drunk but just really “into the show” and that she's “learned her lesson.”  She then added, "It is my responsibility to bring levity to my constituents' lives, never gravity.  Never should my action burden those who I represent, ah, so, ah, I will, ah, work, ah to only bring levity to them and, ah, try to bring as many solutions as possible.”

Gee, wonder if Boebert has any idea what “levity” actually means?  Hell, only Lauren Boebert could think her job is to “bring levity to her constituents' lives.”  So, she thinks voters sent her to Congress to make them laugh?  Now, I don’t know about her constituents, but I do have to admit she’s given the rest of us quite a few good laughs.  Of course, I’m pretty sure that’s not why voters sent her to Congress.  On the other hand, I suppose an argument could be made that her entire tenure in Congress has been pretty much a “big joke.”

Anyway, Boebert goes on to explain that her behavior was due to the fact she was just really “into the show.”  No kidding!  And the video shows that “the show” wasn’t the only thing she was “really into.”  It also showed that her hands were “really into” her date's pants while her date fondled her breasts.  That’s right, when Lauren Boebert goes to the theater, “It’s really showtime, folks!”  Now, in her defense, data does show that most folks who go to see “Beetlejuice” do become so excited - they involuntarily start fondling whomever they happen to be with that evening.

Boebert then closed by saying that she has been “humbled’ by this incident.  Oh really?  Perhaps one of her staff might explain to her the difference between “humility” and “humiliation.”  That said, its rather surprising none of Boebert’s “Freedom Caucus” pals like Matt Gatez, Ted Cruz, Andy Biggs, or Chip Roy tried to “stick up” for her in this matter.  Ah, but then again, in order for that to happen, most of them would’ve probably needed to take one of those little blue pills.

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