Tucker Carlson Wants to Contact Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend About His Swollen Balls

After Nicki Minaj announced she hasn’t gotten the COVID vaccine because her cousin’s friend in Trinidad’s testicles became so swollen - that his fiancé left him. Now, after hearing that story, Fox News host and anti-vaccine crusader Tucker Carlson, tried to make contact with Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend during his show by announcing “We haven’t been able to figure out if this show is broadcast in Trinidad, but if Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend is watching, or his former fiancé is watching, we want to hear your story. We’ll come to the Port of Spain to see you.”

Oh, I get where Tucker’s coming from. Why, this swollen testicle story could mean really huge ratings for Tucker - just as long as those testicles remain “fair and balanced.” That said, I’m not so sure having a guy display his swollen testicles on cable TV is such a good idea. I mean, that sounds like a pretty good way to send many of Tucker’s geriatric audience - directly into full cardiac arrest.

Besides, I’m fully vaccinated and never got anything like Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s “swollen balls.” That said, and in all fairness, several weeks after receiving my last COVID shot, I did get bitten right on the ankle by an angry aardvark - so there’s that. Not to mention, I have a good friend who hasn’t even had a period since getting vaccinated. All I can say is, thank goodness my friend is a man - or I’d be pretty darn concerned.

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location: The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting. Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts. I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property? Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

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