Skip to main content

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing


Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.”

Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.”  Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know.  After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu.  Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters.


Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy theory parade, but I’m pretty sure that most “salad eaters” are already vaccinated.  Let’s get real, if the vaccine is hidden in salads, then no Republican I’m aware of, is in any danger of ingesting it.  Hell, as far as I know, there’s never been a verifiable, documented observation of a Trump supporter - actually eating a salad.  Just as long as they don’t try and sneak it into gravy or the ink supply for tattoo parlors, most Trumpsters should be safe.

 

Frankly, it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with all of this “Deep State” stuff.  Thank goodness we have folks like Gen. Flynn to explain it all to us.  I mean, we have COVID salad dressings, dewormers, fetal tissue, magnets, Bill Gates’ 5G microchips, space lasers - geez!  Not to mention, I heard the Biden Administration is now planning to try and force “patriots” to finish all the vegetables on their plates - before they can have their desert.


Oddly enough, when I first heard about all of this, I had just sat down for lunch at my favorite little outdoor cafe in Santa Monica, and had ordered a nice house salad with their homemade “Balsamic COVID Vaccine Dressing.”  The problem is, I only ordered the dressing on the side, so I have no idea if that means I’m now considered fully vaccinated.  As for Gen. Flynn, if he ever does get reindicted for anything, he’s definitely just laid the perfect groundwork - for a future insanity plea.


Johnny Robish Comedy

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...
Post a Comment
Read more

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List:  The Mary River turtle of Queensland, Australia, which breaths through its genitals and sports a punky green Mohican hairdo, has been placed on a new list of the most vulnerable reptile species on the planet.  Now, of course, we’ve all known people who talk out of their ass, but come on - breathing through your genitals is quite a feat.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Flat Earth Believers Tend to Be Young:  A new survey found that 34 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds entertain some doubts about whether the Earth is actually round.  Good grief, sounds like we flat out need to see that these millennials get a more well-rounded education.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Huge-Nosed Dinosaur Found in Utah:  Paleontologists have discovered a new dinosaur which had a humongous nose that lived 76-million years ago in what is now Utah.  Ironically, if ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence:   After declaring Roger Stone a victim of the “Russia hoax” perpetuated by the Left and its allies in the media, President Trump has commuted the three-year prison criminal sentence for the Republican operative and dirty trickster, who was due to report to federal prison on Tuesday after being found guilty of obstruction, witness tampering and lying to Congress. Good grief, is it my imagination, or has Trump actually just pardoned the real-life version of the Monopoly guy?  I mean, Stone is a villain right out of Charles Dickens.  Why, this is an act so corrupt, it’s almost enough to make Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin blush. Now, I’m no legal expert, but it appears what the Trump Administration is basically arguing is that - someone shouldn’t be punished for committing a crime which “they really should’ve gotten away with.”  And while that may sound a bit odd to the rest of us, that kind of thinking makes go...
Post a Comment
Read more