Skip to main content

Defiant Capitol Rioter Says He’s ‘Willing to Die’ in Pre-Trial Statement


MAGA Capitol rioter and Three Percenters militia member Guy Reffitt, who became infamous for threatening to shoot his own children if they became “traitors” and turned him in, issued a defiant jailhouse statement just prior to his first court appearance next week - stating that he is fully prepared to take a bullet in the battle to save America against Hillary and Biden’s “New World Order.”

Gee, this Reffitt fellow sure seems like a really nice guy who has definitely learned his lesson.  Anyway, Reffitt claims in his statement that “I am prepared to stare down the barrel of tyranny, to receive the bullet of freedom.”  Now, I don’t know anything about all that, but I do know this is a guy who really needs to work on his metaphors.  Speaking of which, I wonder if he’d prefer that that bullet he’s willing to take - be hallow?  You know, just like his head?  Here’s hoping he decides to represent himself in court.


That said, we get it.  Reffitt is basically boasting to his fellow militia member comrades that he’s ready to die in the name of “fascism and white supremacy.”  Well, all I can say to that is - “OK, that works for us, but hold on a second, and I’ll try and hook you up with the Make-A-Wish Foundation.”  Now, if there were only one question I could ask our old pal Guy Reffitt here, I suppose it would be “have you ever considered selling your own line of pillows?”


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles.  In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.”  When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now!  Let’s get real.  It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene.  Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway.  Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform.   Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate.   Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?”  Say it ain’t so!   Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum.   Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically.   Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.”   Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...