Skip to main content

Defiant Capitol Rioter Says He’s ‘Willing to Die’ in Pre-Trial Statement


MAGA Capitol rioter and Three Percenters militia member Guy Reffitt, who became infamous for threatening to shoot his own children if they became “traitors” and turned him in, issued a defiant jailhouse statement just prior to his first court appearance next week - stating that he is fully prepared to take a bullet in the battle to save America against Hillary and Biden’s “New World Order.”

Gee, this Reffitt fellow sure seems like a really nice guy who has definitely learned his lesson.  Anyway, Reffitt claims in his statement that “I am prepared to stare down the barrel of tyranny, to receive the bullet of freedom.”  Now, I don’t know anything about all that, but I do know this is a guy who really needs to work on his metaphors.  Speaking of which, I wonder if he’d prefer that that bullet he’s willing to take - be hallow?  You know, just like his head?  Here’s hoping he decides to represent himself in court.


That said, we get it.  Reffitt is basically boasting to his fellow militia member comrades that he’s ready to die in the name of “fascism and white supremacy.”  Well, all I can say to that is - “OK, that works for us, but hold on a second, and I’ll try and hook you up with the Make-A-Wish Foundation.”  Now, if there were only one question I could ask our old pal Guy Reffitt here, I suppose it would be “have you ever considered selling your own line of pillows?”


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold:   Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.”  Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy!   One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal.  I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either.   But then again, what else is new?  After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests.  Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy:   After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy?  That’s one helluva threat!  Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!”  Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.”  Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone:  Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ”  And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead?  Who do they think they’re kidding anyway?  After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com