Skip to main content

Pat Robertson Says Putin’s Ukraine Invasion Part of God’s Plan


Pat Robertson came out of “retirement” this week to weigh in on the Russian invasion of Ukraine for his 700 Club audience.  Robertson claims that regardless of all the brutal, horrific deaths, and thousands of uprooted families, Vladimir Putin is actually fulfilling the “will of God” by conducting this Ukraine invasion.  Robertson explains that “if you read Ezekiel, it tells you that Putin is being compelled by God to link up with Turkey and that will trigger a massive ‘End Times’ invasion of Israel.”

Gee whiz!  You mean old Pat Robertson’s back in the news again?  What’s up with that?” Does Mike Lindell have the day off or something?  Hell, I could have sworn Robertson was already dead, but apparently - he was only “brain dead.”  So, they brought old Pat out of retirement to tell us this?  It must be because he’s always been so fucking “spot-on accurate” with all his other predictions.


That said, I have to say old Pat seems to be a bit off his game on this one.  I mean, usually, he manages to expertly link any tragedy, disaster, whatever - directly to “the gays.”  Gee, could it be Pat’s going “soft” on “the gays?”  That makes me wonder if someone might be trying to pull some kind of a “Weekend at Bernie’s” on us.  If that’s the case, better tell the undertaker he’s using way too much makeup on that damn corpse.   


I mean, just think about it.  Why hasn’t this old coot hasn’t been called home yet?  Hell, I thought Satan had already replaced Pat with Donald Trump a few years back?  All I can say is, if this actually is the real Pat Roberson, then how about giving the rest of us a break - and usher this old bag of bones back to his rest home dining room, so the poor guy can finish his jello pudding.


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Demands Constitution Be Set Aside and He Be Reinstated as President

Reacting to a Twitter post from Elon Musk who claimed Democrats violated the 1st Amendment by collaborating with big tech (Twitter), to remove tweets that featured pornographic photos of Hunter Biden during the 2020 election,” former President Donald Trump took to his Truth Social platform to demand that the United States Constitution be set aside and that he be reinstated as president.   Trump further claimed that "A Massive Fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution.   Our great 'Founders' did not want, and would not condone False & Fraudulent Elections!” Now, let me get this straight, Trump wants the US Constitution to be suspended - because Twitter refused to publish photos of “Hunter Biden's junk” during that last presidential election?  The thing is Elon, Democrats weren’t even in power in 2020 - Trump was, which would make it a bit difficult for them to violate the...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax.  So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they?  Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place?  Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.”  Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

2020 GOP Senate Nominee Claims the Equality Act Will ‘Illegalize’ Jesus Christ

The Equality Ac t is a bill before the United States Congress, that would simply prohibit discrimination on the basis of sex, sexual orientation and gender identity in employment, housing, public accommodations, education, federally funded programs, etc.   It doesn’t dictate what churches or religious people must believe, but that hasn’t stopped right-wing, QAnon, and flat Earth activist Lauren Witzke - the GOP’s failed 2020 Senate candidate from Delaware - from going on Alan Jones’ InfoWars and claiming that the bill will “illegalize Jesus Christ” and “categorize the Scripture as hate speech.” Well, given her stance on immigrants, I can’t imagine why she’d ever object to anyone “trying to illegalize Jesus Christ.”  I mean, by her standards - isn’t Jesus basically just another “illegal immigrant” from the Middle East?  So, what’s the problem?  Why, if you don’t believe me, then try telling some border patrol agent “but, but, I’m the son of God” - and see how far ...