Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has just announced the “Stop the Wrongs to Our Kids and Employees” Act (aka the ‘WOKE Act’), a legislative proposal that would encourage citizens to spy on teachers in the classroom, and then sue them and their school district if they felt the school is teaching an “aspect” of Critical Race Theory (CRT). Critics say this law could make it extremely difficult for educators to teach students subjects such as civics and history.
So, Gov. DeSantis wants teachers and school districts to get sued if students and parents don’t like what schools are teaching? Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d almost think Florida Republicans are pulling a slick little “cancel culture” move there. Why, it’s almost like “ye who doth protest too much.”
Anyway, I do have to admit that this DeSantis fellow really has things all figured out. Why, under his genius legislation, DeSantis has things set up so Florida taxpayers, will basically be “suing themselves.” Seems like the competition to “out-stupid” Donald Trump in the 2024 presidential race, is off to a pretty good start. And, when it comes to Ron DeSantis, as Karen Carpenter might put it - “He's Only Just Begun.”
Well, good luck finding qualified teachers who wanna work in Florida after this. In fact, my guess is that soon, we’ll be all hearing about a “Massive Teacher Shortage in Florida!” Of course, Governor DeSantis will blame it all on the fact teachers are “way too lazy to work.” But, not to worry - all those vacant teaching positions can be quickly filled by MAGA homeschool teachers. Folks who “really” understand history - QAnon history.
Just to be clear, what Florida will basically be doing - is criminalizing teaching about things such as “slavery and Jim Crow.” You see, Gov. DeSantis wants Florida’s children to be taught that those plantation owners were actually gentle, kind men - who helped African immigrants by generously providing them with food and shelter - all in exchange for just “helping out a wee bit with some of the chores."
Hell, and while he’s at it, this might be a good time for DeSantis to start thinking about arming high school students. That way, any student who happens to dislike anything they’re being taught, could simply just “stand their ground,” and shoot the teacher - claiming what they were being taught sounded an awful lot like “Critical Race Theory.” I mean, who could fault them for that? Certainly not Kyle Rittenhouse!
One thing’s for sure, Floridians must feel a helluva lot safer knowing that Gov. DeSantis has been working tirelessly to protect his sheltered constituency from the discomfort of having to think about the possibility that racism might still exist in America. In fact, this new legislation seems designed to protect Floridians from having to think - period.
Meanwhile, in related news, California Gov. Gavin Newsom is blaming climate change for the massive, destructive, rainstorms that hit throughout the state this week. Storms that smashed the previous record for rain in Los Angeles - set back in 1888, over 130 years ago. But, angry Republicans are fighting back with their own MAGA meteorologists, who claim these record rains are a hoax, and Gov. Newsom is simply trying to push “Critical Rain Theory.”
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