Putin Claims He Resorted to Driving a Taxi After Fall of Soviet Union

In an upcoming documentary, Russian leader Vladimir Putin claimed that after the Soviet Union’s demise, he was forced to drive a taxi to make ends meet. Putin, now considered one of the world’s richest men, was a Colonel for the KGB in East Germany, before the Soviet Union’s collapse.

Wait a minute, you’re telling me Vladimir Putin actually drove a cab? That must have been just after his “polonium milkshake stand” failed. But sure, I believe Putin drove a cab - and Donald Trump got his start as a bus driver too! All I can say is, if it’s true, then it’s probably the only honest work Putin’s ever had. Of course, one could make the argument that for the past 20 years, Putin’s been taking the entire Russian population “for a ride.”

I mean, how does one go from driving a cab, to being one of the richest people in the entire world? Now, I’ve never driven a cab in Russia, but I’m guessing the tips must have been pretty damn good. Word has it that Putin’s cab rides were considered quite unique, in that instead of people riding in the back seat of his cab, passengers were instead - locked up back in the trunk.

In fact, I would have given Putin five stars for a cab ride I took with him, but all the dead journalists he had stuffed in the back, took up most of the trunk space that I needed for my bags. Anyway, what does it all mean? Well, I’m no Hollywood big wig, but it sure sounds to me like it’s about time Mr. Scorsese start seriously thinking about a "Taxi Driver" sequel.

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog