Trump Mocks Honest Abe During His Dallas Rally

Trump Mocks Honest Abe During His Dallas Rally: President Donald Trump once again shocked critics by mocking Abraham Lincoln during his latest rally in Dallas, telling followers he would never be as presidential as "Honest Abe Lincoln when he's wearing that hat," adding that to be presidential like Lincoln - "all you have to do is act like a stiff.” He then proceeded to mimic “a stiff,” by buttoning his blazer, speaking in a monotonous voice, and claiming that someone as boring as Lincoln could never win Texas.

Wait a minute, that’s just crazy! You’re telling me Donald Trump can actually button-up his blazer? Wow, who could have ever seen that coming? Anyway, Trump’s definitely right about one thing, the word “honest” will NEVER be used to describe Donald Trump - or his presidency.

Of course, trying to compare Donald Trump to Abraham Lincoln is simply ridiculous, no matter how you look at it. I mean, you’d have to go back a helluva lot further than Abraham Lincoln to find something that accurately describes the Trump presidency.

Cave-dwelling Neanderthals immediately come to mind. But of course, the Neanderthal comparison can only go so far - given that Neanderthals didn’t get to do their business on gold-platted toilets. Besides, I’m sure Trump and his followers would be the first to tell you they “prefer Presidents who DON'T free the slaves.”

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Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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