You've Got to Be Kidding?

Pfizer Knew Their Blockbuster Drug Might Also Prevent Alzheimer’s:  In 2015, researchers inside Pfizer made a startling discovery - the company’s blockbuster rheumatoid arthritis therapy Enbrel appeared to reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease by an astonishing 64 percent and urged Pfizer to immediately conduct clinical trials.  But verifying all that would have required paying for clinical trials and besides, Pfizer’s patent on Enbrel was about to expire - so, Pfizer not only nixed any further Alzheimer’s research, but also decided to not even make the possible life-saving data public. Why, if one weren’t constantly tuned in to say - Fox News or Breitbart, one might accidentally conclude that Pfizer is a greedy, heartless, money-grabbing corporation who made the decision not to save people from a cruel disease, simply because their patent was about to run out and they wouldn’t have been able to make a huge financial killing from it.  Now I’m sure people lik...

Charmin Creates 3-Month Toilet Paper Roll for Millennials:   Charmin has introduced a new “Forever Roll” toilet paper roll for millennials and people who live alone and have limited storage space - a roll that should last up to 3 months.  At first I laughed at the thought, but now that I think about it - someone could get one helluva lot of reading done if you sit on the pot for three months. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Ben & Jerry’s Wants to Offer CBD Ice Cream:   Everyone is getting into the CBD craze, and Ben & Jerry’s is no exception as the Vermont-based ice cream maker announced it would like to offer CBD-infused ice cream.  While some are praising the move, others are calling it just another cruel trick played on the lactose intolerant. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com     Scientists Pursue Universal Snakebite Cure:   Scientists in India, Kenya, Nigeria, Britain and the US, are endeavoring to find a universal ...

Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit:   US President Donald Trump is showing off a shockingly new slicked-back hairdo, as he prepares to meet with the Queen during his first official state visit to the UK. Good God?  What the hell is that all about?  Is he trying to bring back the mullet?  Either that, or he’s secretly planning on entering a Gary Busey lookalike contest as soon as he gets to London. My guess is, he’s trying to put on his best bohunk sexy look for his meetup with the queen.  One thing’s for sure, he now actually looks exactly like the greasy, mob slime ball he tries to act like.  Maybe he figures that if he ever does get impeached, when they come to get him, no one will be able to recognize him.  But hell, even if he does get impeached, he’ll have nothing to worry as far as getting a job.  I mean, what respectable La Vegas used car lot wouldn’t wanna hire a guy who looks like that? https://ww...

Companies and Pro Athletes Rushing to Jump on the CBD Wagon:   As the legal landscape for marijuana in the US rapidly changes, many companies as well as some well-known athletes like Lamar Odom, are in a frenzy to launch their own products containing cannabidiol (CBD) - a cannabis extract believed to address a whole host of health and pain issues, but without the psychoactive effects of THC. Wait a minute - Lamar Odom is recommending CBD?  Now, while I’m a huge fan of CBD, let’s be honest here - is there actually any drug anywhere that Lamar Odom doesn't recommend?     But I get why people would wanna buy their CBD from Lamar.  Because when you’re looking for ways to stay healthy, Lamar Odom would of course be right up there at the top of the list of people you’d wanna hear from. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Fox News Stands By Laura Ingraham After Defense of White Supremacist:   Fox News said they are standing by Laura Ingraham’s defense of white supremacist Paul Nehle, after he and other extremists have been disciplined or banned by social media for promoting racism, anti-semitism and dangerous conspiracy theories.  Ingraham arguing this amounts to social media silencing “prominent voices” in our society. Wow, so Ingraham and Fox News have suddenly become defenders of free speech?  And, in the name of fairness, they’re demanding social media outlets provide “prominent” white supremacists, Neo-Nazis and fascists a platform to express their views?  Interesting!   OK, so I’m guessing that - by that same logic, Ingraham and Fox also believe people like “prominent” sex offenders and serial killers also deserve access to sites such as Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram - just to make sure we’re hearing all sides of the story.  After all, let’s not forget P...

UK Student’s Nissan Entirely Covered With 20,000 Bees:  A student in Portsmouth, England recently awoke to a living nightmare - 20,000 bees covering his Nissan Micra - which was parked just outside of his home.   A neighbor yelled out that somebody ought to call the police, but it turned out the cops were already on the way due to all the buzz this incident was generating.  When police finally arrived and asked who owned the car, the student’s girlfriend told them “this car belongs to my honey.”  The cops looked over at the car and said “wow, now that’s what I call one sweet ride.”   Anyway, after clearing out all the bees from the vehicle, police told the grateful student to “bee careful” where he parks his car from now on. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

MacKenzie Bezos to Donate Half of Her Fortune to Charity:   After her divorce with Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, MacKenzie Bezos announced that she will donate at least half of her nearly $37 billion divorce settlement to “charity." Wow, what a development!  And in related news, the White House just issued a statement, vehemently denying that the President is looking into the possibility of legally changing his name from “Trump" to “Charity.”    Now, while this certainly appears to be a nice gesture on her part, it always strikes me as rather bizarre when insanely wealthy people like the Bezos or Walton families make these charitable donations.   Especially, when you consider how many of their employees are forced to apply for food stamps, Medicare and Section 8 housing - just to survive.  Is it just me, or does it seem like millions and millions of dollars get donated to charity every year, yet nothing ever seems to change? That said, on the o...