You've Got to Be Kidding?

Trump Expands Immigration Ban - Adding Mostly African Nations:  President Trump just added six more "mostly African nations” to his administration’s travel ban, including Nigeria, Africa’s most populous country - in a widely anticipated expansion which Democrats claim is “clearly discriminatory” against people from predominantly black and Muslim nations. Now wait a minute, let me get this straight.  Trump was just impeached for pressuring foreign nations to help him throw America’s 2020 elections, yet we’re supposed to believe it’s these countries who pose threats to our national security?   Gee, this has to be a mistake.  Perhaps someone  just misinterpreted something when they translated the President’s order from “Trump to English.”  Oh well, on a positive note - at least we’re still welcoming immigrants from Slovenia.   So, what happened?  Apparently, someone must have handed Trump a map of Africa.  You know, one with writ...

Scientists Release Highest Resolution Images of the Sun Ever Taken:  Researchers from the National Solar Observatory on Haleakala, Maui, have just released the highest resolution images and videos ever taken of the sun's surface - which scientists hope will help them keep track of activity on the sun.   Good grief, so not only is Google, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Siri, Alexa and who knows what else spying on us down here on Earth - now, apparently not even the frigg’in sun is entitled to a little privacy. Meanwhile, and closer to home, angry Trump supporters have taken to the streets and calling the pics “fake news,” claiming there's no real proof the sun actually exists and insisting this pic looks suspiciously like some “caramel corn” bought at last year’s Iowa State Fair. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Tweets Schiff Has Not Yet Paid the Price for His Actions:   President Trump continued to ratchet up his rhetoric against Rep. Adam Schiff, tweeting out what appeared to be a threat against the House Impeachment Manager by claiming “Shifty Adam Schiff is a CORRUPT POLITICIAN, and probably a very sick man.  He has not paid the price, yet, for what he has done to our Country!” Gee, that almost sounds like an “enemies list” to me.  Now, if memory serves me correct, I could almost swear we've been down that road before.  The difference being, Nixon used proper grammar and knew how to spell.   Anyway, while we’re talking about “paying the price,” my guess is most taxpayers wouldn’t mind seeing My Trump “pay the price” also  - you know, for all those golf outings and endless pep rallies he holds for himself every week. Anyway, I suppose all of this is just more old news, given that Mr Trump and his pals are almost never at a loss for somethin...

Trump Says He’ll Consider Cuts to Social Security and Medicare:   While much of the nation was focused on Donald Trump’s impeachment trial, President Trump gave an interview to CNBC in Davos, Switzerland, declaring his intention to “take a look” at cutting benefits to entitlement programs such as Social Security and Medicare after the election. So, he’s considering cutting “entitlements” eh?  Gee, how comforting to know this greedy, self-obsessed grifter, a man who poops into gold-plated toilets and has spent over $124,000,000 taxpayer dollars on golf outings in the past three years - thinks our life-line Social Security and Medicare benefits are “ entitlements ?” Of course, in all fairness, to some degree Mr Trump is correct using the term “entitlements."  I mean, when you think about it, since we’ve all paid into these programs through payroll taxes for most of our lives, I suppose you could say “yes Mr Trump, we are indeed ENTITLED - to every bit of that go...

Pompeo Curses Out and Asks Reporter to Find Ukraine on Map:   Following a testy interview, a very angry Secretary of State Mike Pompeo dropped F-Bombs at NPR National Security Reporter Mary Louise Kelly and challenged her to even find Ukraine on the map - which she did immediately did. Hell, after Pompeo challenged her to find Ukraine on the map, she should’ve asked him if he could find his integrity. My guess is - the answer is no. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

23andMe Lays Off 100 People as DNA Test Sales Decline:   Home DNA-testing company 23andMe will be laying off about 100 people, or 14% of its staff, in the wake of declining sales - a decline CEO Anne Wojcicki admitted took her by surprise. Gee, too bad it never occurred to her that this isn’t exactly the kind of business that has repeat customers.  I mean, just how many times does someone actually need to have their DNA tested - even though spitting into a test tube can be a helluva lot of fun.   After all, it’s not like your DNA or your ancestry’s gonna change over time - that is, unless you’re Michael Jackson.  Now, if it were running 23andMe, I’d drop all the damn DNA testing - and start looking at the fossil records.  I mean, anthropologists need jobs too. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

US Drinking Water Widely Contaminated With Forever Chemicals:   Days after Republicans loosened US drinking water standards, a new report surfaced that both the White House and the EPA have tried to stop from being published, showing that US drinking water contamination is actually far worse than previously thought - by man-made "forever chemicals” such as Teflon, Scotchgard and firefighting foam, which don’t break down well in the natural environment. Hell, I don’t blame the White House or the EPA for trying to bury this report.  After all, what the does any of this nonsense have to do with the Biden’s corruption in Ukraine or Hillary’s e-mails?   Besides, who wants to live forever?  Why not look on the bright side - with chemicals like Scotchgard and firefighting foam in our drinking water, it sounds like we’re all well on our way to becoming both waterproof and fireproof.” https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com