Ikea Founder Ingvar Kamprad Dead at Age 91

Ikea Founder Ingvar Kamprad Dead at Age 91: Ingvar Kamprad, who transformed a small local furniture business in the 1940s to the massive global brand Ikea, has died at age 91. When the funeral home delivered his casket, I guess it came as no surprise to anyone that “some assembly was required.”

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Trump Claims Ice Caps Setting Records During His Presidency: While dismissing climate change during a recent interview in the UK with Piers Morgan, President Trump insisted that rather than melting, the “ice caps are setting records” during his presidency. Wow, that statement reminds me of the old adage, “you can lead a Republican to facts, but you can’t make them think.” That said, in all fairness - the President is partially correct. The polar ice caps have reversed themselves and are now heading towards Panama for the winter.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Parents Forcing Children to Drink Bleach to Cure Autism: A potentially deadly new trend is developing among some parents, which involves forcing children to drink industrial-strength bleach in an attempt to cure them of autism - all based on the website advice from the very secretive Genesis II Church which was founded by a former Scientologist. What the hell is wrong with people these days? Don’t these idiots realize that industrial-strength bleach is a cure dyslexia, not autism.

Comments

Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog