Skip to main content

Scientists Say Alien Star Sideswiped Our Solar System

Scientists Say Alien Star Sideswiped Our Solar System:  Astronomers say that some 70,000 years ago, when humans and Neanderthals shared the planet, an alien star streaked through the outer edges of our solar system and jostled its contents.  We need to erect a wall around our solar system and we need to get the Andromeda galaxy to pay for it.



Bored 6-Year-Old Discovered a 65-Million-Year-Old Fossil:  A 6-year-old girl got bored while watching her sister’s JV soccer game in Bend, Oregon - wandered away from the field and started digging in a nearby bush and uncovered a 65-million-year-old fossil.  After hearing about the little girl’s find, President Trump immediately recommended she be appointed Chairman of Paleontology for the National Museum of Natural History.




Trump Names War Hawk John Bolton as National Security Adviser:  President Trump announced he will be naming Fox News commentator and conservative firebrand John Bolton, who recently advocated the US pull a preemptive nuclear strike on North Korea and Iran.  Between starting a trade war with China and the EU, along with Bolton’s appointment - Wall Street cautions they may be forced to downgrade the President’s status from "Moron" to “Imbecile.”  On the plus side, if Trump continues his efforts to send the economy down the tubes, I suppose we wouldn’t be a very attractive target to North Korea and Iran anyway.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles.  In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.”  When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now!  Let’s get real.  It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene.  Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway.  Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com
Post a Comment
Read more

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform.   Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate.   Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?”  Say it ain’t so!   Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum.   Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically.   Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.”   Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...
Post a Comment
Read more