Bee Gees Frontman Barry Gibb Knighted by Prince Charles

Bee Gees Frontman Barry Gibb Knighted by Prince Charles: Barry Gibb, the last surviving member of the 60’s and 70’s pop group the Bee Gees, has been knighted by Prince Charles at Buckingham Palace. Wow, sounds like Prince Charles must have gotten Knight Fever, Knight Fever - he knows how to do it. And sadly, because Barry Gibb is the last surviving member of the group, there’re probably gonna be some “Lonely Days, Lonely Knights.”

http://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Data Shows Smartphone Thefts Doubled Last Year: New data is showing that smartphone thefts nearly doubled last year and will probably get even worse in the immediate future. Wow, sounds like you’d have to be stupid to be a smartphone. Better buy a dumber phone next time. You’ve heard of “too big to fail?” Well, my next phone will be “too stupid to steal.”

http://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Benefits of Circumcision Outweigh Risks By 100 to 1: A new medical review published by Mayo Clinic makes the strongest case yet for circumcision, claiming circumcision benefits outweigh the risks by 100 to 1. I have to admit that the argument sounds pretty convincing, no matter how you slice it.

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Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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