Scientists Say Space is Full of Dirty Toxic Grease

Scientists Say Space is Full of Dirty Toxic Grease: Researchers say they’ve determined that the Milky Way galaxy is just full of dirty, toxic space grease - the equivalent of nearly 40 trillion trillion trillion packs of butter. Now, who cares if the Milky Way is full of grease- I’m not planning on eating any of it anyway.

http://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

New Oxford Study Says Humans Are Alone in Universe: A new study out of Oxford University, strongly suggests that humanity is all alone in the observable universe, putting a damper on the theory that there is intelligent life somewhere in the known universe. That said, many psychologists are disputing that finding, pointing out that we’ll never be “alone” as long as we still have all those Kardashian tweets to keep us company.

http://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Cops Remove Beer Can from Skunk’s Head: Police have removed a Miller Lite beer can from the head of a semi-intoxicated skunk found waddling around near a fraternity at Miami of Ohio University. Needless to say, police report the poor animal was drunk as a skunk.

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Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War: In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.” You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!” In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence. They don’t teach you that in law school. Now, is it jus...

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.” Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know. After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu. Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy the...

Elon Musk Calls for the Prosecution of Anthony Fauci

Over the weekend, Elon Musk took to his Twitter account to call for the prosecution of infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci, endorsing a convoluted, right-wing conspiracy theory that claims Dr. Fauci financed the COVID-19 pandemic. Musk then proceeded to mock transgender people by adding “My pronouns are Prosecute/Fauci.” Gee, the “world’s richest right-wing troll” said what? Now, I realize it's a really low bar, but I think we’ve finally found someone who actually knows less about pronouns - than Herschel Walker. Not to be critical, but a good sign you may have a wee bit too much money on your hands, is when you blow 44 billion dollars, just to call people names. Oh sure, I’m positive Elon Musk, like any right-wing crusader, gets a real kick out of using his Twitter to “Own the Libs.” OK, I get that, but just who does he suppose is actually buying his friggin' cars, anyway? I’m pretty sure it isn’t Trump’s toothless, MAGA half-wits who are fillin...

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