Skip to main content

Ivanka Trump Closes Down Her Fashion Line

Ivanka Trump Closes Down Her Fashion Line:  First daughter Ivanka Trump announced she will be closing down her fashion line to focus solely on advising in her father’s White House.  I have a great idea - perhaps Ivanka could now focus her “fashion designer skills” on making fashionable prison garb for herself, her family and the rest of the White House staff.



Giuliani Calls Michael Cohen a Scumbag and Traitor on CNN:  During a 32-minute rambling, incoherent interview on CNN, Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani called Michael Cohen a traitor and “scumbag” and claimed (without any evidence) that Cohen had doctored the tapes he turned over to special counsel Robert Mueller.  Giuliani reminds me of a guy who has taken to hiding his own Easter eggs - and yet he still can’t manage to find any of them!  Trump and Giuliani are like a comedy team - without a straight man.  How quickly he’s gone from being “America’s mayor” to “America's crazy uncle.”  I think its  about time to secure him in an adult diaper, hand him a bowl of warmed applesauce, a nice cup of hot chocolate and wheel him into the nursing home dayroom and to watch old reruns of Mayberry R.F.D.




Study Finds Your Alcoholic Beverage Choice Reveals How You Vote:  According to a new survey, your favorite alcoholic beverage says a lot about the way you vote, with Democrats more likely to reach for Absolut, Grey Goose or Stolichnaya vodkas, while Republicans tend to prefer Beefeater, Crown Royal and Jim Beam.  On the other hand, people who drink Jägermeister are basically incapable of even finding their polling place, let alone vote.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List:  The Mary River turtle of Queensland, Australia, which breaths through its genitals and sports a punky green Mohican hairdo, has been placed on a new list of the most vulnerable reptile species on the planet.  Now, of course, we’ve all known people who talk out of their ass, but come on - breathing through your genitals is quite a feat.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Flat Earth Believers Tend to Be Young:  A new survey found that 34 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds entertain some doubts about whether the Earth is actually round.  Good grief, sounds like we flat out need to see that these millennials get a more well-rounded education.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Huge-Nosed Dinosaur Found in Utah:  Paleontologists have discovered a new dinosaur which had a humongous nose that lived 76-million years ago in what is now Utah.  Ironically, if ...

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence:   After declaring Roger Stone a victim of the “Russia hoax” perpetuated by the Left and its allies in the media, President Trump has commuted the three-year prison criminal sentence for the Republican operative and dirty trickster, who was due to report to federal prison on Tuesday after being found guilty of obstruction, witness tampering and lying to Congress. Good grief, is it my imagination, or has Trump actually just pardoned the real-life version of the Monopoly guy?  I mean, Stone is a villain right out of Charles Dickens.  Why, this is an act so corrupt, it’s almost enough to make Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin blush. Now, I’m no legal expert, but it appears what the Trump Administration is basically arguing is that - someone shouldn’t be punished for committing a crime which “they really should’ve gotten away with.”  And while that may sound a bit odd to the rest of us, that kind of thinking makes go...