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Louisiana Man Claims Ghost Planted Meth at His Home

Louisiana Man Claims Ghost Planted Meth at His Home:  A 59-year-old Louisiana man who called police to his home was charged with possession of a controlled substance and giving a false police report after falsely claiming to have been stabbed in the head with an axe and claiming that it was actually a ghost who planted the crystal meth that authorities found on his nightstand.  First of all, why is it that whenever a meth addict gets arrested, they always seem to be wearing a white t-shirt?  Anyway, I have no sympathy.  I mean, this guy is obviously old enough to know that it’s never a good idea to trust a ghost carrying a pickaxe and a vile of crystal meth.



Weird Goblin Planet Found On The Edge Of Solar System:  A strange little dwarf planet that travels the fringes of our solar system with a diameter of just 186 miles has been determined to have a 40,000-year orbit.  You mean to tell me a year there is really 40,000 Earth years long?  Hell, that would mean my DMV appointment would last for over 30 years!  Of course, it already seems like it lasts that long anyway, so I guess it really doesn’t make all that much the difference.




German Neurologist Finds Dark Spot on Brain Where Evil Lurks:  A German neurologist says he’s identified a dark patch on the frontal brain of violent criminals - which isn’t present in normal brains and for which he feels may be responsible for their violent behavior.  Good news!  Now, if Apple can just come up with a software update to fix that patch before anyone else gets hurt, everything will be fine again.

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