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White House Downplays Football Field-Sized Asteroid Threat

White House Downplays Football Field-Sized Asteroid Threat:  Astronomers at the European Space Agency (ESA), say there is a small chance that an asteroid, roughly the width of a football field, will strike the Earth in early September.  

Now, what I wanna know is, since when did scientists start measuring a celestial objects in terms of football fields?  So, given that there’s just a small chance of this asteroid hitting Earth, I guess you could say the asteroid is facing a “4th down and 200,000 miles to go” situation.  Good luck with finding a punter willing to kick that puppy.      

President Trump immediately took to twitter, urging everyone to lock their doors, just as a precaution.  Meanwhile, a White House spokesperson tried to downplay the threat by pointing out that even if the asteroid did strike Earth, you still wouldn’t be able to play football on it - because the surface of asteroids are way too rocky and uneven for football.  Adding that this would be especially true for any team dependent on their passing game.

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