US Now Officially Has a Space Force and a Space Command

US Now Officially Has a Space Force and a Space Command: While no one seems quite certain as to exactly what they will actually be doing, President Trump has signed into law America’s newest branch of the military - Space Force, by declaring there’s "going to be a lot of things happening in space, because space is the world's newest war fighting domain.”

When asked about their new assignments, commanders say they’re really, really excited, but did have to admit that for the foreseeable future, the only space they’ll be occupying will be rather expensive “office space” in Washington DC.

Hell, I can think of a job they can tackle right away. Why not start by exploring some of that unchartered “space” that exists between Trump's ears? Why, you could even describe the mission as “boldly going, where no other racists have gone before!”

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Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit

Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit: US President Donald Trump is showing off a shockingly new slicked-back hairdo, as he prepares to meet with the Queen during his first official state visit to the UK. Good God? What the hell is that all about? Is he trying to bring back the mullet? Either that, or he’s secretly planning on entering a Gary Busey lookalike contest as soon as he gets to London. My guess is, he’s trying to put on his best bohunk sexy look for his meetup with the queen. One thing’s for sure, he now actually looks exactly like the greasy, mob slime ball he tries to act like. Maybe he figures that if he ever does get impeached, when they come to get him, no one will be able to recognize him. But hell, even if he does get impeached, he’ll have nothing to worry as far as getting a job. I mean, what respectable La Vegas used car lot wouldn’t wanna hire a guy who looks like that? https://ww...

Trump Tells Hannity He Can Declassify Secret Documents With Just His Mind

During a recent interview on Fox News with Sean Hannity, former president Donald Trump tried to defend stashing extremely sensitive classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago resort by saying he was the president, and the president can declassify, simply by “saying its declassified.” Trump further added that “there doesn't have to be a process - there can be a process, but there doesn't have to be.” Trump then told Hannity that if you're the president of the United States, you can actually declassify something “by just ‘ thinking’ about it.” Oh, my word! You mean to tell me Trump actually thinks he can declassify the government's most guarded secrets, simply by “thinking about them?” Now, not to be critical, but it sure sounds like someone has been spending way too much of their spare time binge-watching old episodes of “I Dream of Jeannie.” I mean, about the only thing he left out was that he also sprinkled the documents with “pixie dust!” This...

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

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