US Now Officially Has a Space Force and a Space Command

US Now Officially Has a Space Force and a Space Command: While no one seems quite certain as to exactly what they will actually be doing, President Trump has signed into law America’s newest branch of the military - Space Force, by declaring there’s "going to be a lot of things happening in space, because space is the world's newest war fighting domain.”

When asked about their new assignments, commanders say they’re really, really excited, but did have to admit that for the foreseeable future, the only space they’ll be occupying will be rather expensive “office space” in Washington DC.

Hell, I can think of a job they can tackle right away. Why not start by exploring some of that unchartered “space” that exists between Trump's ears? Why, you could even describe the mission as “boldly going, where no other racists have gone before!”

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Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base: Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!” Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils. Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today. What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.” You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence: After declaring Roger Stone a victim of the “Russia hoax” perpetuated by the Left and its allies in the media, President Trump has commuted the three-year prison criminal sentence for the Republican operative and dirty trickster, who was due to report to federal prison on Tuesday after being found guilty of obstruction, witness tampering and lying to Congress. Good grief, is it my imagination, or has Trump actually just pardoned the real-life version of the Monopoly guy? I mean, Stone is a villain right out of Charles Dickens. Why, this is an act so corrupt, it’s almost enough to make Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin blush. Now, I’m no legal expert, but it appears what the Trump Administration is basically arguing is that - someone shouldn’t be punished for committing a crime which “they really should’ve gotten away with.” And while that may sound a bit odd to the rest of us, that kind of thinking makes go...

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List: The Mary River turtle of Queensland, Australia, which breaths through its genitals and sports a punky green Mohican hairdo, has been placed on a new list of the most vulnerable reptile species on the planet. Now, of course, we’ve all known people who talk out of their ass, but come on - breathing through your genitals is quite a feat. http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Flat Earth Believers Tend to Be Young: A new survey found that 34 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds entertain some doubts about whether the Earth is actually round. Good grief, sounds like we flat out need to see that these millennials get a more well-rounded education. http://www.johnnyrobish.com Huge-Nosed Dinosaur Found in Utah: Paleontologists have discovered a new dinosaur which had a humongous nose that lived 76-million years ago in what is now Utah. Ironically, if ...

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