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Massachusetts Plans Rattlesnake Colony on Uninhabited Island


Massachusetts Plans Rattlesnake Colony on Uninhabited Island:  A plan by the state of Massachusetts to establish a colony of venomous timber rattlesnakes on an off-limits island located just off Massachusetts' largest body of water, is causing concerns among some local residents, who fear that the serpents, who can also swim - will pose a serious danger to hikers, fishermen and hunters.  

Gee, I had no idea we were running out of rattlesnakes.  Now, as much as I love wildlife, I’ll be the first to admit that when I think about things our society desperately needs in year 2020, “more venomous snakes” would never have made my list.  One thing’s for sure, all this government-subsidized rattlesnake housing, is sure leaving residents a bit rattled.  


Gee, and while they’re at it, perhaps Massachusetts might also consider establishing a colony of snake-handling Pentecostals on the island too?  I mean, come on!  Who loves rattlesnakes more than those fun-loving Pentecostals?  


Why, these folks love rattlesnakes so much, they can’t stop kissing and hugging them.  Now, while I’m certainly no herpetologist, but having a Pentecostal colony on the island sure sounds like a win-win to me - not only for the snakes, but for all the rest of us also.


Johnny Robish Comedy

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