Mitch McConnell Blocks Attempt to Quickly Approve $2,000 Stimulus Checks

Mitch McConnell Blocks Attempt to Quickly Approve $2,000 Stimulus Checks: Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) on Tuesday blocked consideration of a House bill that would deliver $2,000 stimulus payments to desperate, unemployed Americans - extra funds that could help folks as they try to make ends meet during these hard times.

Now, like Mitch McConnell, many Republicans say they oppose the idea of just “handing out free money” to people who really don’t need it - people who’ll probably just spend that extra cash on frivolous things like Nike Air Jordans, Sony Play Stations, colon hydrotherapy or tumescent liposuction.

Now, I have to admit, they do make a good point. Truth be known, why I was actually planning on using that stimulus money to put a down payment on a new Bugatti Veyron. Had the color picked out and everything. I was gonna go with a kind of a “battleship gray” color. You know, to match Mitch McConnell’s face.

But, anyway - what can you say? Moscow Mitch and his Republicans - they’re always the last in line when it comes to helping their fellow Americans. Of course, in all fairness, they’re always first in line - at least when it comes to things like getting COVID vaccinations ahead of everyone else - so I suppose it all evens out.

And, now Republicans say they’re “deeply concerned about depict spending.” Well sure, at least now that a Democrat’s gonna be in the White house. The funny thing is - some of these same Republicans made so damn much money on insider info trading during the pandemic - why, they could almost afford to give Americans the $2000.00 themselves.

Johnny Robish Comedy

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

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