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MyPillow Guy to Sue British Tabloid Over Jane Krakowski Rumors


MyPillow Guy to Sue British Tabloid Over Jane Krakowski Rumors:  The Daily Beast reports that conspiracy theorist, staunch Trump ally and MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, has retained celebrity attorney Charles Harder to go after British tabloid the “Daily Mail,” over a story that implied he had a secret affair with 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt actress Jane Krakowski.  Lindell claims the story “harmed his reputation as a Christian,” even as numerous companies vowed to stop carrying his pillows following his role in pushing the phony election fraud conspiracy theories that incited the January 6th insurrection by Trump supporters. 


Wait a minute!  You mean to tell me the guy’s complaining about being linked romantically to Jane Krakowski?  Is he insane?  I mean, about the only thing I can think of that could be better than rumors that I dated Jane Krakowski - would be if I’d actually dated Jane Krakowski.


Well, maybe it was all just a big mistake.  After all, Mike Lindell fully admits to having once been a crack addict.  My guess is, that the tabloids just got the name wrong and that it wasn’t actually Jane Krakowski that Lindell was seeing, but rather “Mary Jane Crackowski.”  Or, maybe - it’s all just “pillow talk?”


Anyway, so Mike Lindell says he’s gonna sue the tabloid for ruining his reputation?  What, his reputation as a lying, conspiracy theory promoting, Trump-loving, neo-fascist, traitor?  Now, if I were him, I wouldn’t give it a second thought, because I think we can safely say that reputation is pretty damn secure.  Now, talk about having some influence, when he gets to court, his lawyer plans to swear him in on a “stack of pillows.”  


But, all of that aside, you’d think that if anyone would wanna sue over this story, it would be Jane Krakowski.  In fact, word has it she was recently sighted inside Home Depot, buying a couple of brand new 10-foot poles.  Smart move, because after being linked to this whacko, she may need them.


Johnny Robish Comedy

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