MyPillow Guy to Sue British Tabloid Over Jane Krakowski Rumors

MyPillow Guy to Sue British Tabloid Over Jane Krakowski Rumors: The Daily Beast reports that conspiracy theorist, staunch Trump ally and MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, has retained celebrity attorney Charles Harder to go after British tabloid the “Daily Mail,” over a story that implied he had a secret affair with 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt actress Jane Krakowski. Lindell claims the story “harmed his reputation as a Christian,” even as numerous companies vowed to stop carrying his pillows following his role in pushing the phony election fraud conspiracy theories that incited the January 6th insurrection by Trump supporters.

Wait a minute! You mean to tell me the guy’s complaining about being linked romantically to Jane Krakowski? Is he insane? I mean, about the only thing I can think of that could be better than rumors that I dated Jane Krakowski - would be if I’d actually dated Jane Krakowski.

Well, maybe it was all just a big mistake. After all, Mike Lindell fully admits to having once been a crack addict. My guess is, that the tabloids just got the name wrong and that it wasn’t actually Jane Krakowski that Lindell was seeing, but rather “Mary Jane Crackowski.” Or, maybe - it’s all just “pillow talk?”

Anyway, so Mike Lindell says he’s gonna sue the tabloid for ruining his reputation? What, his reputation as a lying, conspiracy theory promoting, Trump-loving, neo-fascist, traitor? Now, if I were him, I wouldn’t give it a second thought, because I think we can safely say that reputation is pretty damn secure. Now, talk about having some influence, when he gets to court, his lawyer plans to swear him in on a “stack of pillows.”

But, all of that aside, you’d think that if anyone would wanna sue over this story, it would be Jane Krakowski. In fact, word has it she was recently sighted inside Home Depot, buying a couple of brand new 10-foot poles. Smart move, because after being linked to this whacko, she may need them.

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog