Skip to main content

Pastor Robert Jeffress Says You’ll Work in Heaven But Without Gov’t Regulations


Pastor Robert Jeffress Says You’ll Work in Heaven But Without Gov’t Regulations:
  Trump-loving Pastor Robert Jeffress was a guest on televangelist Jim Bakker’s show recently, and told viewers that “We’re going to have to work in Heaven, but work is a gift from God.”  He then added that “There’ll be no government regulations, so we’ll all enjoy work like God intended for us to enjoy it.”


Gee, sounds just wonderful, doesn’t it?  Working for eternity, no pay, no work rules or regulations, no breaks, and no vacations - all for the pleasure of Jeffress’ angry God, who in return will demand blind obedience and total adoration at all times - or he'll torture you for eternity.  Why, who could pass up a deal like that?  


My word, if you’re gonna be treated like that, why not just get a job working over at some Amazon warehouse?  Hell, not even Jeff Bezos treats his workers that badly.  At least they get two bathroom breaks, even if he does monitor how long it takes them to pee.  This place sounds more like a “heavenly sweatshop” to me.  


One thing’s for sure, on this job site, if you don’t do exactly as Pastor Jeffress’ God tells you, then you can expect to catch hell - literally!  Why, no wonder the devil got thrown out.  Hell, he probably tried to unionize the damn joint.

Johnny Robish Comedy 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform.   Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate.   Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?”  Say it ain’t so!   Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum.   Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically.   Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.”   Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax.  So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they?  Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place?  Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.”  Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com