Skip to main content

Gun Nut Republican Lauren Boebert Tells Christians to Forget the Natural Realm


Gun Nut Republican Lauren Boebert Tells Christians to Forget the Natural Realm:  Conspiracy theorist, assault weapon fetishist, and Trump-supporting Republican congresswoman Lauren Boebert, exploded into a massive “word salad” after being asked on The Victory Channel’s “Flashpoint” show this week “what is it American Christians need to do?”  This led Boebert to advise Christians not to “be distracted by what you are seeing in the natural,” adding that “we are taking ground in the spirit realm” and “it has to take place there before we actually see it here in the natural” because “God has a great plan for America.”    

Wow, now I have to admit that I haven’t the slightest idea what the hell she’s talking about, but in all fairness - I’m not taking any of those medications that her target audience is taking.  The fact is, when most of us actually look into that “natural realm” that Rep. Boebert mentioned, what we really see is an absolutely insane person - who appears better suited to be the night manager at some creepy motel out in the middle of the Mojave Desert, then a voting member of the United States Congress.


Now, some of you may ask, just what the hell is this gun-toting, conspiracy nut doing in Congress in the first place?  Well, the simple answer is, with her crazy gun and conspiracy obsessions, about the only other job she’s really qualified for - would be guarding a rutabaga patch.  Well, as it turns out, all the rutabaga patches in her community of Rifle, Colorado, already have guards.  And, as anyone who knows anything about rutabagas can tell you, no bona fide rutabaga patch needs more than one guard.  Besides, if your job is to guard rutabagas, you’re actually supposed to be smarter than rutabaga so, therefore - she found herself in Congress!


Johnny Robish Comedy

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...
Post a Comment
Read more

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List:  The Mary River turtle of Queensland, Australia, which breaths through its genitals and sports a punky green Mohican hairdo, has been placed on a new list of the most vulnerable reptile species on the planet.  Now, of course, we’ve all known people who talk out of their ass, but come on - breathing through your genitals is quite a feat.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Flat Earth Believers Tend to Be Young:  A new survey found that 34 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds entertain some doubts about whether the Earth is actually round.  Good grief, sounds like we flat out need to see that these millennials get a more well-rounded education.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Huge-Nosed Dinosaur Found in Utah:  Paleontologists have discovered a new dinosaur which had a humongous nose that lived 76-million years ago in what is now Utah.  Ironically, if ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence:   After declaring Roger Stone a victim of the “Russia hoax” perpetuated by the Left and its allies in the media, President Trump has commuted the three-year prison criminal sentence for the Republican operative and dirty trickster, who was due to report to federal prison on Tuesday after being found guilty of obstruction, witness tampering and lying to Congress. Good grief, is it my imagination, or has Trump actually just pardoned the real-life version of the Monopoly guy?  I mean, Stone is a villain right out of Charles Dickens.  Why, this is an act so corrupt, it’s almost enough to make Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin blush. Now, I’m no legal expert, but it appears what the Trump Administration is basically arguing is that - someone shouldn’t be punished for committing a crime which “they really should’ve gotten away with.”  And while that may sound a bit odd to the rest of us, that kind of thinking makes go...
Post a Comment
Read more