Scientists Making Strides Into How Dinosaurs May Have Mated

Scientists Making Strides Into How Dinosaurs May Have Mated: Scientists from the University of Bristol and the University of Massachusetts Amherst revealed in the journal Current Biology that research on a Regaliceratops peterhewsi fossil, has allowed them to draw some rather interesting conclusions in their attempt to discover exactly how dinosaurs may have mated.

Now, wait a minute! Just what kind of people sit around thinking about dinosaurs having sex anyway? Why, I certainly don’t. I mean, I could have sworn that I saw a film way back when that claimed that the dinosaurs actually came into being through a cloning effort being conducted on some remote tropical island called Isla Nublar, just off Costa Rica.

Now, as far as dinosaurs mating, I’m quite sure - as folks like Marjorie Taylor Greene or any good evangelical Donald Trump-loving Christian will tell you - “dinosaur mating happened when a mommy dinosaur and a daddy dinosaur loved each other very, very much.” It was never anything like "Hey sweetheart - what do ya say we meet under that sago palm over there? After all, not all of me has gone extinct - if ya get my drift.”

On the other hand, all it takes is one quick glance at that damn Regaliceratops peterhewsi you see here, and you don’t need to be a paleontologist to see just how “horny” that disgusting creature really was. Frankly, all I really know at this point is, that all this talk about dinosaur sex - makes me wanna light up a cigarette - and I don’t even smoke.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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