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Airlines Denying Plans to Force Flyers to Weigh-In Before Boarding


Airlines Denying Plans to Force Flyers to Weigh-In Before Boarding:  After the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) put out an advisory circular two years ago that set the date of June 12, 2021, for airlines to have “weight and balance programs accurately reflect current passenger weights,” a New York Post story suggested that “airlines could soon start weighing passengers before allowing them to board an aircraft.”

Geez, if that isn’t enough to promote train travel, I don’t know what will?  I mean, what the hell?  Did they think airport check-ins were going too fast, so they decided to add a little more “weight time” to the experience?  As far as I can tell, the only positive thing about any of this is - at least they’re not forcing anyone they deem “too large” to ride in the baggage compartment! 


All I can say is, if airlines do decide to go through with these forced weigh-ins, one can only hope they show a little compassion and weigh us in using “kilograms” rather than pounds.  That way, whatever number shows up on those scales will be completely unintelligible to all but a few Americans.  After all, it’s darn pretty hard to humiliate anyone by a number that almost no one has any idea what the hell it means. 


Of course, Hollywood will probably try to somehow cash in on all this by developing a new reality show - entitled “Too Fat to Fly!”  I can see it now.  You arrive at the airport, airline staff will weigh you and display your weight on a large, flashing LED screen, then post that to your Facebook and Instagram accounts.  Then, airline staffers will line up and recite all their favorite “fat jokes,” while you attempt to board the plane.  I mean, what fad diet plan wouldn’t wanna sponsor a show like that?


And, while it’s certainly accurate that Americans are getting bigger, it’s equally true airline seats are getting smaller.  I mean, what the hell?  About the only folks who could ever feel comfortable flying “couch” these days - are children under 12.  Meanwhile, Republicans claim they have a simple solution to the problem.  They propose that rather than flying, just have all plus-sized passengers book passage to sail on Royal Caribbean instead.


Johnny Robish Comedy

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